Blog entry for:

to include a regular inventory in my new pattern of living. well, finally i can get off the topic of my recent FIFTH STEP and on to another dead horse of sorts, a daily inventory. just a disclaimer --
I DO A DAILY INVENTORY, I HAVE DONE ONE FOR QUITE A FEW DAYS AND I DO ONE ALMOST EVERY SINGLE DAY.
so now that the spoiler is out there, time for me to move on. of course, here is where i would enumerate the many ways that this practice is beneficial to me, however, this morning i will defer on that exercise, as the reading was more than clear on that topic. what i can and will write about is how the integration of this practice as well as the others are allowing me to become more than i ever dreamed possible.
i find it kind of amusing when a newcomer tells me that they are doing daily inventories, but no longer laugh out loud, when they start to reel off all the benefits they are getting. they may very well be doing an inventory and are getting the benefits. FOR ME, and i was one of of those newcomers, it was not until i actually formally worked the TENTH STEP, that i realized what an exercise in mind-fVcking, mental masturbation it was. a daily inventory, became my whip or my carrot, depending on where i happened to be, and really had no balance and the tendency to focus in on whatever the part of me i call addiction happened to need that day. yes it was great times, and i was a willing participant until my sponse asked me why. to which i had to reply because i read it in the JFT!
after some clarification and direction from my sponsor, i was set free and allowed myself the freedom to ignore this particular reading UNTIL i had formally started working STEP TEN, and that is part of the reason i am still clean today. i actually took direction and DID NOT do something, until i was truly ready to embark on it.
speaking off embarking upon something, today i start my new gig up in Loveland. i am excited as well as a bit anxious, i mean after all, will i be able to…
here a quick inventory is called for. they world not have hired me if they thought i could not do the work. with that thought in mind i will sign off, hit the showers and get ready to head up north for the start of this new adventure. little did i realize when i went back to the work force 11½ months ago, that this direction was one that i would come to count on and depend upon, to provide me what i NEED as well as much of what i WANT. it is a good day to be clean and most importantly on this side of the grass.

∞ DT ∞