Blog entry for:

Mon, Sep 23, 2013 07:56:21 AM


£ my fellow members know more about £
posted: Mon, Sep 23, 2013 07:56:21 AM

 

my personal life than anyone has ever known before, and for this addict, that is a GOOD thing. the irony here, is based on mu observations, the members who complain the loudest about gossip, seem to be those who do the most gossiping themselves, and participate openly in behaviors that leads to comments from others. i understand that attention-seeking behavior, as i have been there and done that, wanting to be the center of attention and thinking up my next act to be the flavor of the week.
the reading this morning, did not necessarily bring me back there, and my comment on gossip in the paragraph above, may be the only one i have for the rest of the this little seemingly random set of brain waves. what i heard this morning, is that growing self-esteem, self-respect and self awareness, will remove the sting of someone talking about me to others. when i am comfortable that my behavior is what i want to be doing, i do not care what others are saying. in fact, i get a bit of a thrill, when i have enough power over others, that they feel they need to talk about me. in that instant i have become their higher power, and that certainly warms the cockles of my heart. see paragraph one!
what i also heard this morning, is that my share last night was certainly more than adequate. i certainly would like to attach a higher value on it, but that goes to the root of my problem, namely me! across the course of my life, i have always thought i could be more, and yet time and again i failed to achieve being the best. i have spoken about the behavior of just not trying, in the past, so it does not need to be repeated here for very long. yes, the tape i heard when i came in second time and again is why bother, just settle and be comfortable in the fact that you can be second, with very little effort. so if i want to be on the top of the gossip charts, why not apply myself a little bit more and do so.
seriously, as i walk the path towards becoming, genuine, self-aware and whole, i find myself more secure in who i am, even when there are bit and pieces, that i am unsure will fit, but are certainly realities in the man i am today. the man i will be tomorrow, is just a myth and a waste of my time to envy that person. in fact, after sharing last night, i spoke to a few guys and one them said, that i sounded smooth and self-aware. so much so, that he nearly envied me. i know that was certainly not me speaking, yes i am about to go all mystical here. as i was saying, these days, when i share at length, i allow myself the freedom to go where i need to go, without having a plan. it was certainly true last night. the notion i had when i started was to tell my story through the process of becoming the man i have always wanted to be. yes there were drug-a-logs, some jokes at my own expense, but more than anything else, there was a description of my journey on this remarkable path. no one can take that away form me, unless i allow them to become my higher power by actually caring what they think of me. arriving at this place, is certainly a quantum leap forward for this addict and on that bit of a rainbow fart, i think i will start the process of getting over to work. it is after all a good day to be clean.

∞ DT ∞

 

djtConsulting Brand
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.

Another Look!

gossip and recovery 374 words ➥ Thursday, September 23, 2004 by: donnot
∞ living my commitment ∞ 352 words ➥ Friday, September 23, 2005 by: donnot
↔ the more secure i become with my personal program, the decisions i make, ↔ 380 words ➥ Saturday, September 23, 2006 by: donnot
↔ i may be unhappy when others gossip about me. ↔ 481 words ➥ Sunday, September 23, 2007 by: donnot
μ i have to face it: in the fellowship, i live in a glass house of sorts. μ 355 words ➥ Tuesday, September 23, 2008 by: donnot
∼ if i withdraw from the fellowship and isolate myself to avoid gossip ∼ 497 words ➥ Wednesday, September 23, 2009 by: donnot
‡ in accordance with the principles of recovery ‡ 645 words ➥ Thursday, September 23, 2010 by: donnot
« i am committed to being involved in the fellowship » 689 words ➥ Friday, September 23, 2011 by: donnot
* the BEST way to deal with gossip is  : 507 words ➥ Sunday, September 23, 2012 by: donnot
≠ the opinions of others will not ≠ 300 words ➥ Tuesday, September 23, 2014 by: donnot
ℵ dealing with gossip ℵ 426 words ➥ Wednesday, September 23, 2015 by: donnot
↰ to judge, ↱ 419 words ➥ Friday, September 23, 2016 by: donnot
🛌 how it feels 🛀 873 words ➥ Saturday, September 23, 2017 by: donnot
😨 probably imagine 😵 344 words ➥ Sunday, September 23, 2018 by: donnot
🎪 the opinions 🎭 474 words ➥ Monday, September 23, 2019 by: donnot
💬 my personal 💬 522 words ➥ Wednesday, September 23, 2020 by: donnot
🗣 accepting what is 🗫 515 words ➥ Thursday, September 23, 2021 by: donnot
🗣 as i become 🗫 514 words ➥ Friday, September 23, 2022 by: donnot
🤕 planning keeps 🤨 564 words ➥ Saturday, September 23, 2023 by: donnot
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☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯

THE TAO TEH KING, OR THE TAO AND ITS CHARACTERISTICS
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge

Book 2

1) That which is at rest is easily kept hold of; before a thing has
given indications of its presence, it is easy to take measures against
it; that which is brittle is easily broken; that which is very small
is easily dispersed. Action should be taken before a thing has made
its appearance; order should be secured before disorder has begun.