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🌦 i am powerless 🌤
posted: Thursday the 20th of July, 2017 07:43:22 AM

 

over addiction. with the help of my peers in recovery and the POWER that fuels my recovery, i need not remain powerless. i had an interesting conversation yesterday with one of the men i sponsor. i asked if he had any men as friends and what he thought being friends meant. needless to say, what i believe friendship is and how he sees it, are quite different. the question was asked to set up an experience to get him to see what his current relationships look like in the light of day and if it works great, no expectations of any outcomes on my part. what happened during my 10TH step last night, was that i examined who i consider friends and what those relationships mean to me. ironically, as it often seems when i am speaking with my peers, i see that his answers, were mine, not all that long ago. one of the gifts of the steps for me, has been to give me the emotional language to express who i am and how i relate to the world around me.
i accept that i am an addict. i accept that i am powerless over my addiction. i accept that i am powerless over what others do and think, i do NOT accept that i have to remain powerless, as i do have a strong relationship with a HIGHER POWER and the FAITH that i will be given the opportunity to procure everything that i need today. part of the power i ask for, every morning, is the ability to stay clean today. today i have the desire for a new job and a re-fi on our home. the re-fi is in process and i have a quick follow-up with a recruiter this afternoon. the problem is one of timing. now that the re-fi is in process, i changing jobs among the many other activities that i am precluded from doing, as the paperwork grinds through the process. well i actually COULD, as that IS in my power, i WILL NOT, by choice, to keep the bankers happy to keep the money train rolling down the track. i can CHOOSE to see myself as powerless in this instance, or can i accept that even though i have power, exercising it may not be a prudent choice.
when it comes to addiction, however, i am not quite so fortunate. it is true, that this morning i CHOSE to stay clean and ask for the power to do so. i accepted that power form the POWER that fuels my recovery and a as result, i am not obsessing about when and how to get high. what is tripping all my triggers though is how am i going to explore new job opportunities while getting a piece of finances done? where i am ending up is that i need not worry. i have not even had a real interview yet, much less a job offer, so i guess i have to eat my own words of “wisdom” and surrender all of that intro the care of the POWER that fuels my recovery, plainly, simply and just for right now. speaking of jobs, it is time to wrap this up and head on down to the office, after all i still need to keep the paychecks rolling in as well.

∞ DT ∞

 

djtConsulting Brand
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.

Another Look!

never alone 244 words ➥ Tuesday, July 20, 2004 by: donnot
δ back to the beginning δ 283 words ➥ Wednesday, July 20, 2005 by: donnot
α with membership in the fellowship that gave me this new life, comes a wealth of experience Ω 342 words ➥ Thursday, July 20, 2006 by: donnot
∞ we become members, part of a collective **we** that allows us, together, ∞ 452 words ➥ Friday, July 20, 2007 by: donnot
∞ when i honestly admit my powerlessness over my addiction, ∞ 221 words ➥ Sunday, July 20, 2008 by: donnot
Σ there is great strength in making a verbal admission of my powerlessness Σ 675 words ➥ Monday, July 20, 2009 by: donnot
α i admit that I AM powerless over my addiction … 465 words ➥ Tuesday, July 20, 2010 by: donnot
¨ no longer must i try to solve the puzzle of my addiction on my own ¨ 694 words ➥ Wednesday, July 20, 2011 by: donnot
∗ i start each day with an admission of my powerlessness over addiction ∗ 448 words ➥ Friday, July 20, 2012 by: donnot
∅ i will start the day with an admission ∅ 645 words ➥ Saturday, July 20, 2013 by: donnot
µ i will remind myself that the First Step starts with **WE,** µ 364 words ➥ Sunday, July 20, 2014 by: donnot
‡ i never ‡ 411 words ➥ Monday, July 20, 2015 by: donnot
∈ step one ∌ 648 words ➥ Wednesday, July 20, 2016 by: donnot

☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯

THE TAO TEH KING, OR THE TAO AND ITS CHARACTERISTICS
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge

Book 1

2) We should blunt our sharp points, and unravel the complications
of things; we should attemper our brightness, and bring ourselves
into agreement with the obscurity of others. How pure and still the
Tao is, as if it would ever so continue!