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Sun, Feb 22, 2009 09:49:14 AM


∞ in many cases, i find that my actions have been in tune with the will …
posted: Sun, Feb 22, 2009 09:49:14 AM

 

...of a Higher Power for me, and i in turn have been in tune with the world around me. this happens more often then i publicly admit. somewhere down the line i picked up on the idea of humility means downplaying my achievements. i know that this is quite a stretch from the way my fellowship defines humility, but not only do i practice this bizarre manner of living, i see it all around me, and i have come to the conclusion that this behavior is just another form of people pleasing.
i get that if i say i have four thousand one hundred and eighty two days in a row clean, i may hurt someone’s feelings. but the flip side to that, is i may give a newcomer HOPE that they can do this gig and achieve that same number of days in a row and more. i also get, that if i share about how in tune with the world i have been lately, how little i have been stumbling across my character defects, and how easy things seem to be coming to me, at this point in my recovery, it may come off as some sort of bragging. so instead i focus on sharing the troubles and turmoils i am going through and downplay the good things,. after all, i do not want to give someone the impression that life in recovery can be better than anything that i have known in the past, because maybe for them is is not. gawd, how much more twisted can i make this.
so what am i feeling right now? well first off, the time has come, to come clean in my sharing. i share my triumphs as well as my turmoils and if the feelings of someone else are bruised by that, than they need to go chat with their sponsor. secondly, the time has come for me to be me. yes i act-out in self-will, and i do so on a daily basis, BUT i also am also aligned with my TRUE will as well as the will of a HIGHER POWER for me, most of the time these days. no i am not some sort of saint, but i am not some sort of demon either, and the time has come to share like something in between. and finally, i am pissed off, at myself, for falling into the whole false humility trap. nothing that thirty minutes of pounding the pavement will not cure, but certainly something to be aware of, and something to let go of today. after all, life in recovery is all about uncovering the truth about me, myself and i, and how i interact and react with the world around me. although i do not always find gems sparkling in the dark as progress on this journey, i do uncover nuggets of truth, so this latest one needs to be looked at, explored and put into context, then i can move on, and i think that is what i will do.

∞ DT ∞

 

djtConsulting Brand
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.

Another Look!

↔  my will -- God’s will ↔ 319 words ➥ Tuesday, February 22, 2005 by: donnot
α discovering the inconsistencies between my behavior and my values α 511 words ➥ Wednesday, February 22, 2006 by: donnot
¿ i may discover inconsistencies between my behavior and my values. i have been acting on my own will, ¿ 451 words ➥ Thursday, February 22, 2007 by: donnot
∞ i have found that the more i live in harmony with the will of my HIGHER POWER, the greater the harmony in my life. ∞ 483 words ➥ Friday, February 22, 2008 by: donnot
∞ in my life, i have found, that the more i live in harmony ∞ 765 words ➥ Monday, February 22, 2010 by: donnot
« i continue to take personal inventory and when i am wrong promptly admit it » 398 words ➥ Tuesday, February 22, 2011 by: donnot
≈ when i am acting on my own will and not that ≈ 356 words ➥ Wednesday, February 22, 2012 by: donnot
⇑ i wish to live in harmony with my world. ⇑ 472 words ➥ Friday, February 22, 2013 by: donnot
∏ with a growing awareness of what the will of the POWER ∏ 424 words ➥ Saturday, February 22, 2014 by: donnot
¤ i am more likely to live in greater concord ¤ 697 words ➥ Sunday, February 22, 2015 by: donnot
↳ GOD*s will, ≀ 697 words ➥ Monday, February 22, 2016 by: donnot
✫ uncovering the inconsistencies ✬ 873 words ➥ Wednesday, February 22, 2017 by: donnot
🎜 in tune 🎝 799 words ➥ Thursday, February 22, 2018 by: donnot
💫 any dissonance 💫 571 words ➥ Friday, February 22, 2019 by: donnot
🔬 being in tune 🔬 583 words ➥ Saturday, February 22, 2020 by: donnot
📉 dissonance 📈 596 words ➥ Monday, February 22, 2021 by: donnot
🎥 measuring each 🎦 353 words ➥ Tuesday, February 22, 2022 by: donnot
🕊 living in 🕊 406 words ➥ Wednesday, February 22, 2023 by: donnot
🤫 building trust 🤔 406 words ➥ Thursday, February 22, 2024 by: donnot
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☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯

THE TAO TEH KING, OR THE TAO AND ITS CHARACTERISTICS
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge

Book 1

2) So it is that existence and non-existence give birth the one to
(the idea of) the other; that difficulty and ease produce the one
(the idea of) the other; that length and shortness fashion out the
one the figure of the other; that (the ideas of) height and lowness
arise from the contrast of the one with the other; that the musical
notes and tones become harmonious through the relation of one with
another; and that being before and behind give the idea of one following
another.