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i need to seek the guidance of my sponsor who can help me concentrate on what is being said rather than who is saying it. i am a bit late writing this morning, as i have been putting this little exercise off as long as possible. not that what i have been doing was wasting time, on the contrary, it has been a very productive morning service-wise as well as work-wise. ironically, i read this entry yesterday as was all prepared to wax poetically or whatever on the topic, when i realized that it was not the reading. instead i wrote about the reading that was the topic in my annual cycle, and left this for today. why is that ironic? well i had plenty to say on this topic yesterday, and this morning i am at a loss for words. i feel like anything i write is a ‘me too’ entry.
i am a member and when i get the wrong message, at meetings, when i interacting one-on-one or just out of the blue, the first thing i do, is look at who is sharing with me, and discount what they are saying based on my perception of how i think they are working a program, how much clean time they may or may not have, or a hundred other pieces of information i have rolling around inside of my skull. i know that i can rationalize this behavior by saying i am being discerning, but what i actually saying, is based on my bias and prejudices what is being said does not apply to me. great work, when i can find it!
what i heard today, and not yesterday, is that as a person who suffers from addiction, i NEED to be aware that this is going on, and do my best to separate the message from the messenger. can i do this? well, sometimes it comes quite naturally, almost like breathing, most of the time it takes effort. i know that this is a skill,i have been taught, and the more i practice it, the better at it i become. so with the desire to practice something in my head and my heart, i will move back into being productive and leave this where it NEEDS to be, first and foremost in my mind when i am interacting with others today.

∞ DT ∞