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the more cumbersome my burden, the more sincere my efforts to unload it would be. or so it may seem. there are times when carrying the weight of my resentments is exactly what i want to do. as counter-intuitive as it may seem, there is a part of me that enjoys inflicting pain upon me. this little S&M game is an interesting in and of itself, HOWEVER, as the topic is carrying the burden of my resentments and not character defects or shortcomings i will leave this discussion for another day.
the burden of my resentments? well actually when i am in a good spiritual place, i have found that i do not form or carry a whole bunch of resentments. even when i do, after a bit of time, i see how silly i was being in swallowing my anger and holding on to it. when i am not in a spiritually fit place, carrying my full load of resentments is exactly what i want to do, no matter the cost or pain.
most days i am somewhere in between the totally fit and totally unfit place, and one of the ways i can gauge my exact position on that continuum is by how many resentments i have in my current stock. if i discover i have any, i HAVE the ability to take them out, look them over and see why i think they were worth carrying up to this point, it is all part of my being present gig.
anyhow, this reading did not stir up a whole bunch for me, so if something strikes my fancy over the course of today, i will be back, otherwise, until next time, i will remember that i am grateful for being on the right side of the dirt.

∞ DT ∞