Blog entry for:
Sun, Mar 26, 2017 12:01:30 PM
↻ moving away from ↺
posted: Sun, Mar 26, 2017 12:01:30 PM
this journey to trust has been reinforced by this step cycle. where once i wrapped myself in a mantle of service, now i reveal to many, that i am no different than they are. i am riddled with insecurities, doubt and yes even fear. i am cynical, sarcastic and from time to time, a royal pain in the a$$. i am also loyal, trustworthy and supportive and this mash-up of what some consider “positive” and “negative” attributes is who i am and certainly who i am becoming.
what i am hearing these days, or better put, “feeling?” well first and foremost, this “pause” between step cycles has been good for me. as i see where i was and where i am, i am grateful that i did not think myself into the next round. i am not so happy finding out how status and material driven i seem to be, nor am i thrilled that i carry do many biases and prejudices. coming to terms with my humanity seems to be coming up a whole lot these days and i am getting to the place where i am getting uncomfortable with those unpleasant facts of life. i feel as if i am on the threshold of something, but when i consider that statement, i know that feeling is nothing new, just a rehash of where i have been before. i could go on about what this feeling may or may not be, instead i think i will just sit with it and allow myself the freedom to figure it out “on the fly.” i do know this: it is time to spend some time with my sponsor and get a bit of his perspective on what i am feeling and where, if anywhere, i need to be going.
∞ DT ∞
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
Learning to trust.... 488 words ➥ Saturday, March 26, 2005 by: redb1ker∞ trusting someone, anyone ∞ 219 words ➥ Saturday, March 26, 2005 by: donnot
α moving away from a life of fear, confusion, suspicion, and indirection Ω 432 words ➥ Sunday, March 26, 2006 by: donnot
↔ trust helps me move away from a life of fear, confusion, suspicion, and indirection. ↔ 375 words ➥ Monday, March 26, 2007 by: donnot
∞ trust is the same principle i apply in my relationship with a Higher Power … 469 words ➥ Wednesday, March 26, 2008 by: donnot
∞ i spent many years without direction, relying only on self-interest, … 539 words ➥ Thursday, March 26, 2009 by: donnot
∀ now that i am learning to live in recovery, i find i need help ∀ 735 words ➥ Friday, March 26, 2010 by: donnot
° in seeking a sponsor, i look for someone i feel i can learn to trust ° 774 words ➥ Saturday, March 26, 2011 by: donnot
¦ i want to grow and change ¦ 654 words ➥ Monday, March 26, 2012 by: donnot
< trust is the same principle i apply in my relationship > 446 words ➥ Tuesday, March 26, 2013 by: donnot
¢ the more i take the risk of trusting my sponsor, ¢ 706 words ➥ Wednesday, March 26, 2014 by: donnot
∑ the more i trust my sponsor, ∑ 910 words ➥ Thursday, March 26, 2015 by: donnot
↱ trusting a sponsor ↰ 796 words ➥ Saturday, March 26, 2016 by: donnot
🤝 suspecting everyone, 🤔 466 words ➥ Monday, March 26, 2018 by: donnot
🞿 wondering how 🞿 571 words ➥ Tuesday, March 26, 2019 by: donnot
💫 opening up 💬 435 words ➥ Thursday, March 26, 2020 by: donnot
🤐 growth and change, 🤫 450 words ➥ Friday, March 26, 2021 by: donnot
🌀 a life 🌀 447 words ➥ Saturday, March 26, 2022 by: donnot
🙈 creating safety 🙉 649 words ➥ Sunday, March 26, 2023 by: donnot
😐 worth the risk 😳 513 words ➥ Tuesday, March 26, 2024 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 1
1) Who knows his manhood's strength,
Yet still his female feebleness maintains;
As to one channel flow the many drains,
All come to him, yea, all beneath the sky.
Thus he the constant excellence retains;
The simple child again, free from all stains.
Who knows how white attracts,
Yet always keeps himself within black's shade,
The pattern of humility displayed,
Displayed in view of all beneath the sky;
He in the unchanging excellence arrayed,
Endless return to man's first state has made.
Who knows how glory shines,
Yet loves disgrace, nor e'er for it is pale;
Behold his presence in a spacious vale,
To which men come from all beneath the sky.
The unchanging excellence completes its tale;
The simple infant man in him we hail.