Blog entry for:

Mon, Mar 20, 2023 07:04:05 AM


💱 self - support 💰
posted: Mon, Mar 20, 2023 07:04:05 AM

 

goes far beyond what the $$$s i put into the basket, it has come to be a part of living an active program of recovery, for me anyhow. one thing mentioned specifically in the content that is driving this little exercise of putting down into words what i am feeling this morning was that self-support is not self-sufficiency. i may be able to support myself financially, emotionally, spiritually and physically but that does not mean, at least for me, that i have achieved any level of self-sufficiency. i still need my spouse, my friends, my family and my peers to be a part of my life as well as the thousands of others who directly and indirectly provide what i need and what i desire to live in the manner that i am quite accustomed to living. i know to believe anything else, is to retreat back into a world where i can believe any sort of nonsense my head can cook up.
over the course of the past ten days, the demands of being a sponsor has increased. once again i find myself answering the question what is there to do when one feels as if they need something more than the basics of recovery. my first sponsor alluded to this, way back when i was far from ready to accept that i was an addict, by saying that even some people in recovery work steps and practice the basic spiritual principles of recovery, they never leave the lobby. i was not certain what he meant, back in those days, but i certainly understand now. although every one of my peers will deny that any sort of “advanced recovery” exists, it has been my experience that there does come a time, at least in this addict's experience, when i need something more than just the basics and have to learn how to apply all of the spiritual principles i have adopted in my every day life, ever minute of the day. when i am no longer trapped under the weight of my past, a morass of resentments or the remorse of having the wrongs i did, accounted for and repaired, what comes next?
for me, that question is more than just rhetorical and i am uncertain how to answer it. i can say this, i get a payoff from every aspect of living my active program of recovery. attending my home group, give me a connection to my peers and shows me what i can be or do not have to be. that evidence was shown quite clearly to me the other night, where i saw peers with more clean time than me stuck in the world of what was. i do a daily inventory at the end of my day, because it helps me to fall asleep at night. i sit and listen in quiet contemplation every morning, because it provides balance and serenity at the start of my day. i sponsor other men, because their journey through recovery educates me on mine and allows me to learn something new. i do not know if that answers the question, but just for today, living a program of active recovery, looks like that and i am feeling more whole, genuine and self-aware than i have ever felt before in my life, so it must be working,

∞ DT ∞

 

djtConsulting Brand
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.

Another Look!

∞ something greater than the force of my addiction ∞ 456 words ➥ Monday, March 20, 2006 by: donnot
∞ the belief that a benevolent Power greater than my addiction ∞ 495 words ➥ Tuesday, March 20, 2007 by: donnot
α i know without a doubt that my life has been filled with destruction.  … 383 words ➥ Thursday, March 20, 2008 by: donnot
α when i take the First Step, i admit that the destructive force of addiction is bigger than i am ω 558 words ➥ Friday, March 20, 2009 by: donnot
¿ i recognize addiction as a power that has and is creating devastation in my life ¿ 571 words ➥ Saturday, March 20, 2010 by: donnot
√ i HAVE no trouble admitting that addiction is a destructive force in my life √ 678 words ➥ Sunday, March 20, 2011 by: donnot
↑ i HAVE come to believe in the possibility ↑ 567 words ➥ Tuesday, March 20, 2012 by: donnot
ℜ my best efforts result in ever greater destruction and despair ℜ 690 words ➥ Wednesday, March 20, 2013 by: donnot
≈ at some point, i realized that i needed ≈ 653 words ➥ Thursday, March 20, 2014 by: donnot
⌈ at some point, i realized that ⌋ 642 words ➥ Friday, March 20, 2015 by: donnot
↷ HIGHER POWER ↶ 758 words ➥ Sunday, March 20, 2016 by: donnot
⤠ finding enough ⤟ 860 words ➥ Monday, March 20, 2017 by: donnot
🌟 greater than 🌠 608 words ➥ Tuesday, March 20, 2018 by: donnot
🤩 my only hope 🤳 536 words ➥ Wednesday, March 20, 2019 by: donnot
🚧 believing in the 🚧 550 words ➥ Friday, March 20, 2020 by: donnot
🤔 just might exist 🧭 445 words ➥ Saturday, March 20, 2021 by: donnot
🧿 a POWER greater 🧿 594 words ➥ Sunday, March 20, 2022 by: donnot
😀 i can be happy 😁 547 words ➥ Wednesday, March 20, 2024 by: donnot
Spacer Image

☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯

THE TAO TEH KING, OR THE TAO AND ITS CHARACTERISTICS
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge

Book 2

2) In this way though he has his place above them, men do not feel
his weight, nor though he has his place before them, do they feel
it an injury to them.