Blog entry for:

Tue, Jul 20, 2010 08:06:49 AM


α i admit that I AM powerless over my addiction …
posted: Tue, Jul 20, 2010 08:06:49 AM

 

that my life has become unmanageable, once again. well not really. i am just the sort of person who enjoys a bit of hyperbole from time to time. it is true, that i am smack dab in the middle of my FIRST STEP. it is also quite true that i am not working on my current writing assignment about my unmanageable life. this morning, neither of those seem all that important, there seems to be something else i need to be focusing in on, and what that something else, has yet to be revealed to my conscious self. what is the meaning of all of this, where am i going and what do i need to do? all of those questions, while apropos are not what i am going to concentrate on, instead i am going to go about what i have planned for this morning and allow myself to be open to what is going on inside and outside of me. it has been my experience that when i let go, instead of trying to grasp on to something that is just beyond my ken, i am rewarded by understanding and clarity.
so yes, there is power in the collective, just as the ‘borg’ assimilate entire species and civilizations, the assimilation process of the fellowship is all inclusive, swallowing whole, the recalcitrant addict, if allowed to. i know i resisted this process with all the might i had. noodling around with one fellowship or another,. pretending to get this gig, but always looking for the means to disqualify myself and stay a part of this collective. quite honestly i was scared that if i allowed myself to become part of the collective, i would lose who i am, and become just another one of those freaks i saw running this recovery show. what happened was that when i finally allowed myself to become a part of the fellowship, i started on this incredible journey into now. i gained the ability to be more than i ever dreamed possible, and the HOPE that anything could be possible, if allow for it.
this morning, i am using the stored knowledge of that collective to figure out what i need to figure out. that experience tells me to move forward, be present and listen for the voice of the POWER that provides thee source of our recovery. my answer will come, and perhaps it is nothing more than just do the next right thing. which looking towards the west, appears to be get my work out in before whatever weather that may or may not be coming down the pike sets in.
time to hit the ground running, literally and figuratively!

∞ DT ∞

 

djtConsulting Brand
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.

Another Look!

never alone 244 words ➥ Tuesday, July 20, 2004 by: donnot
δ back to the beginning δ 283 words ➥ Wednesday, July 20, 2005 by: donnot
α with membership in the fellowship that gave me this new life, comes a wealth of experience Ω 342 words ➥ Thursday, July 20, 2006 by: donnot
∞ we become members, part of a collective **we** that allows us, together, ∞ 452 words ➥ Friday, July 20, 2007 by: donnot
∞ when i honestly admit my powerlessness over my addiction, ∞ 221 words ➥ Sunday, July 20, 2008 by: donnot
Σ there is great strength in making a verbal admission of my powerlessness Σ 675 words ➥ Monday, July 20, 2009 by: donnot
¨ no longer must i try to solve the puzzle of my addiction on my own ¨ 694 words ➥ Wednesday, July 20, 2011 by: donnot
∗ i start each day with an admission of my powerlessness over addiction ∗ 448 words ➥ Friday, July 20, 2012 by: donnot
∅ i will start the day with an admission ∅ 645 words ➥ Saturday, July 20, 2013 by: donnot
µ i will remind myself that the First Step starts with **WE,** µ 364 words ➥ Sunday, July 20, 2014 by: donnot
‡ i never ‡ 411 words ➥ Monday, July 20, 2015 by: donnot
∈ step one ∌ 648 words ➥ Wednesday, July 20, 2016 by: donnot
🌦 i am powerless 🌤 572 words ➥ Thursday, July 20, 2017 by: donnot
🌩 gaining more than 🌪 644 words ➥ Friday, July 20, 2018 by: donnot
🚍 a wealth 🚌 264 words ➥ Saturday, July 20, 2019 by: donnot
👥 WE 👥 538 words ➥ Monday, July 20, 2020 by: donnot
🧩 solving the puzzle 🥨 472 words ➥ Tuesday, July 20, 2021 by: donnot
🤷 an admission, 🧬 447 words ➥ Wednesday, July 20, 2022 by: donnot
😒 forgiveness 😌 392 words ➥ Thursday, July 20, 2023 by: donnot
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☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯

THE TAO TEH KING, OR THE TAO AND ITS CHARACTERISTICS
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge

Book 1

3) A skilful (commander) strikes a decisive blow, and stops. He does
not dare (by continuing his operations) to assert and complete his
mastery. He will strike the blow, but will be on his guard against
being vain or boastful or arrogant in consequence of it. He strikes
it as a matter of necessity; he strikes it, but not from a wish for
mastery.