Blog entry for:

with such a salacious title maybe i will get a few more his on my blog page!
just kidding, i am in a kind of playful mood this morning as is befitting the day, so trying to write about a serious topic like this is a bit difficult. but off i go into the darker recesses of my mind and imagination.
finding out how the part of me i call my disease affected my relationships was quite a shock, and i am still in that discovery process. everything i seem to do that is focused on moving forward with the recovery process seems to end up dealing with yet another aspect of relationships. and when i say relationships i do not just mean romantic/sexual ones. the truth is that when i came into recovery, the only long-term relationships i had left were either those that were tied to me by blood or those that were tied to me by using. i had no real friends because i could not be a friend. i had no peers, because i thought myself above everyone else for a myriad of reasons, and i had no lovers because i was incapable of loving anyone, including myself.
such a sad state of being for anyone especially me. WAHHHHH!
so after a bit of discovery and recovery, i have learned that i can be an equal partner in my relationships. i can be a friend. i can be a lover. i can be a boss. i can be an employee. i can be a trusted peer. i can be a sponsee. and i can be a sponsor.
life in recovery has taught me that the part of me i call addiction warps my perceptions and tells me stories that may sound plausible on the surface, but are actually carefully crafted lies by omission. today i have learned that the springboard to having healthy loving relationships for me, is the recovery process. i am becoming a better lover by naturally following a process that laid down over the past fifty-three years and you know what i am sure the world is a better place because i am following that path!

∞ DT ∞