Blog entry for:
Thu, Oct 11, 2007 06:55:40 AM
μ in addiction, my best thinking kept me from clearly seeing either the world or my part in it μ
posted: Thu, Oct 11, 2007 06:55:40 AM
recovery serves to correct the prescriptions in my attitudinal eye wear.
over the past few days, well actually more like the past ten days, i have been going through one of my petulant little phases of everyone around here just plain sucks when it comes to helping me in my recovery. they share the same old drivel, whine about the same old sh*t, and continually sport the most tired and worn out clichés! yet i can continue to go to meetings, BUT i have been leaving right away, and isolating myself from the local fellowship. the irony here is that, nothing has changed PERIOD, meetings are meetings and in my experience no matter where i go, i will be able to recreate the same attitude within myself. so the solution seems to be a look inside to see why i am, once again in this particular spot, when the truth of the matter is that nothing has really changed externally. could it be that i need to complete my current assignment? or perhaps put more time and energy into meditation? or even <gasp> just let go of my expectations and see what happens?
the answer and the solution probably lies in doing all of the above, and more than likely a formal tenth step writing session is called for this evening. and that is what i9 really like most about the program of recovery. after being here a little while i have the understanding to see myself drifting or rocketing into places that are not healthy for me. and i have the means to divert or stop that particular side trip before i get lost in the detour of active addiction. anyhow, yes i am finding the people in recovery to be dull and not worth hanging out with these days, and yes i know they have not really radically changed over the past ten days, so the problem must be with me. since the problem is that my lenses are out of adjustment, it is time to clean them off and see the world around me as it really is instead of through the haze of my disease. life is not bad, but i can make it better, if i allow the tools i have to do their work.
so i already feel a touch better, puking always seems to helps. hope you did not get too much on you!
over the past few days, well actually more like the past ten days, i have been going through one of my petulant little phases of everyone around here just plain sucks when it comes to helping me in my recovery. they share the same old drivel, whine about the same old sh*t, and continually sport the most tired and worn out clichés! yet i can continue to go to meetings, BUT i have been leaving right away, and isolating myself from the local fellowship. the irony here is that, nothing has changed PERIOD, meetings are meetings and in my experience no matter where i go, i will be able to recreate the same attitude within myself. so the solution seems to be a look inside to see why i am, once again in this particular spot, when the truth of the matter is that nothing has really changed externally. could it be that i need to complete my current assignment? or perhaps put more time and energy into meditation? or even <gasp> just let go of my expectations and see what happens?
the answer and the solution probably lies in doing all of the above, and more than likely a formal tenth step writing session is called for this evening. and that is what i9 really like most about the program of recovery. after being here a little while i have the understanding to see myself drifting or rocketing into places that are not healthy for me. and i have the means to divert or stop that particular side trip before i get lost in the detour of active addiction. anyhow, yes i am finding the people in recovery to be dull and not worth hanging out with these days, and yes i know they have not really radically changed over the past ten days, so the problem must be with me. since the problem is that my lenses are out of adjustment, it is time to clean them off and see the world around me as it really is instead of through the haze of my disease. life is not bad, but i can make it better, if i allow the tools i have to do their work.
so i already feel a touch better, puking always seems to helps. hope you did not get too much on you!
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
accepting the consequences of my actions 428 words ➥ Monday, October 11, 2004 by: donnotα adjusting my lenses Ω 351 words ➥ Tuesday, October 11, 2005 by: donnot
α today, however, i understand that the condition of the world was not really the problem. Ω 359 words ➥ Wednesday, October 11, 2006 by: donnot
↔ my attitudes and my ideas are the eyeglasses through which i see my life ↔ 740 words ➥ Saturday, October 11, 2008 by: donnot
∂ by stripping away my denial and replacing it with ∂ 501 words ➥ Sunday, October 11, 2009 by: donnot
• my best thinking got me into trouble … 526 words ➥ Monday, October 11, 2010 by: donnot
ø in my active addiction, the world looked like a horrible place ø 583 words ➥ Tuesday, October 11, 2011 by: donnot
⊕ my attitudes and my ideas are the eyeglasses ⊕ 438 words ➥ Thursday, October 11, 2012 by: donnot
∝ to insure my vision of life is in focus, ∝ 664 words ➥ Friday, October 11, 2013 by: donnot
€ today, seen through the clean lenses of faith and recovery, € 674 words ➥ Saturday, October 11, 2014 by: donnot
◊ eyeglasses and … 856 words ➥ Sunday, October 11, 2015 by: donnot
🌀 the condition of 🎢 980 words ➥ Tuesday, October 11, 2016 by: donnot
🌎 the condition 🌏 553 words ➥ Wednesday, October 11, 2017 by: donnot
👁 viewing the world 👁 636 words ➥ Thursday, October 11, 2018 by: donnot
😎 tolerating the world 🤓 595 words ➥ Friday, October 11, 2019 by: donnot
👓 a horrible place 👓 375 words ➥ Sunday, October 11, 2020 by: donnot
📉 bringing my 📈 552 words ➥ Monday, October 11, 2021 by: donnot
😡 resentment, denial, 😎 515 words ➥ Tuesday, October 11, 2022 by: donnot
😶 thoughtfulness 🤔 494 words ➥ Wednesday, October 11, 2023 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
1) My words are very easy to know, and very easy to practise; but
there is no one in the world who is able to know and able to practise
them.