Blog entry for:

i have to admit that today has started off in a less than stellar manner. a dawg that had to go out every 30 minutes overnight, fifteen to twenty inches of heavy wet snow that i will need to redistribute, a day without getting in a workout i enjoy and a headache to boot after i finally got Daisy feeling a little better for a couple of hours. yes, that is a fine whine as i sit here thinking about the hours of shoveling snow that i have ahead of me, kind of makes me feel like going back to bed and wait for Spring to arrive! as i “sat” this morning, the weight of how bad this day started off, kept popping up to the top of the stack. when i got up to eat some breakfast, however, there i was given a gift of serenity and a bit of acceptance. if i was not clean i would not have a life where i would have to shovel snow and if, by some twist of fate, i was a pet papa, more than likely i would have let her foul her nest, as i would have believed it was easier to drop her bed into the laundry and let her suffer. i would not be a homeowner, have the ability to care for a loving pet and more than likely spent the evening in a chemical fog, trying to make sure i had “enough” of whatever to make it through being snowbound.
yes, being a responsible person, at times may feel as if i am cursed, but actually, when i see where i am, it is a gift of recovery. if i did not know frustration or angst, how would i be able to experience contentment and serenity? i know in the days of my active addiction, i thought a good day was one in which i did not have to work and i could use all day long. lacking any sense of responsibility was certainly a one-dimensional existence. it was however, all i knew.
my plan of the day, as altered as it is, is to move the snow in shifts, give the dawg some extra care and attention and move towards book club this evening. i will get more than enough cardio exercise as i take care of my responsibilities today and a nap or three may be in my future. a bit of spin and having a responsibility or three becomes a “positive” part of my day. i can wish that the past ten hours had turned out better and of course if wishes were horses, all would ride.

∞ DT ∞