Blog entry for:

of ideas, words and concern, that guides me through whatever happens to be upsetting my apple cart, that is just one of the gifts my sponse, gives to me, when i invite him into my life. although this morning, he would probably not be able to offer me more than i already have, when it comes to what i am **spinning** about. both of my upcoming journeys are now in jeopardy of being cancelled or postponed due to the dang COVID-19 virus. yeah, yeah, yeah, i am f*cking powerless over all of this and i need to surrender and accept that things are the way they are. maybe, i would get another message from Carlos, however calling him about this stuff seems like such a waste of his time and mine. i KNOW what i need to do and how to “manage” my disappointment and anger over the international reaction to a disease we are all eventually going to get. sound a bit defeatist?, well it is just a more realistic look at what is going on. i as well as most of the human population have no resistance to this virus, there is no vaccine, it is very contagious, so sooner or later i will be exposed and my body will react to it as it will.
stepping back from that fatalistic brink, i can breathe and yes feel a bit of acceptance about how my plans will be altered. raging against a virus and how it affects the world around me, does me no good and maybe a call to my sponse would not be a bad idea. he does after all, offer me the opportunity to be present with what me “real” feelings happen to be and let go of my reactive stuff. instead of sitting here, fretting and fuming about what i cannot control, i think i will head on out for a walk with the dawg, before the precipitation starts to fall. it is a good day to be clean and if i can forgive myself for my all too human reaction to what COVID-19 is doing to my life, i can be a bit better prepared to have a good day clean.

∞ DT ∞