Blog entry for:

is something that i often think i have, no matter how **humble** i can make myself sound. learning how to keep mouth shut, when i am not asked for advice or feedback, has been one of the most important skills i am learning on my recovery journey. it is true that after a bit of time doing this recovery gig on a “just for today” basis, i have accumulated a whole lot of knowledge and even a bit of wisdom. that does not mean that i have accumulated enough knowledge or wisdom to be an “expert” on recovery, even though i have the desire to play one, from time to time. when all is said and done, i often disagree with what i hear shared in meetings, but instead of challenging the person who has shared something i do not agree with, i look at my own program, to see what it is that caused my reaction.
one of the the ideas that drive me to distraction is when my peers drag in the clichés and slogans from other fellowships. having been down this rod often enough, i know that what i am thinking is that they are dismissing the collective wisdom from this fellowship and deferring to a “all powerful and all knowing” one. it may be true that the fellowship that has brought me this far, is not the “original” one, but after nearly three-quarters of a century, one might consider that it has grown far beyond the fellowship from whence it sprung and its members can rest comfortably knowing that everything they need to live a life in recovery, is available here. for me, this fellowship provided what that other could not and still does not provide, the means to recover from addiction. it may have been the drugs that brought me here, but abstinence is not the only reason i stay here. what i have to come to terms with, is that for some of my peers, this may not be enough and allow them the freedom to use what works for them.
i can say that i am an expert in detecting the difference between myself and my peers. i am also well-versed in denial and hiding my sh!t under a pile of spiritual camouflage. what i am learning, slowly but surely, is that my path, such as it is, is mine and mine alone. the similarities between how i live a program of active recovery and how my peers do theirs, far outweigh the differences. i also know for a fact that i am in the correct fellowship and this addict does not need to “beg, borrow or steal,” from any other to find what he needs today. the answers i seek, are right here, all i have to do is allow myself the freedom to “listen” for them, just for today.

∞ DT ∞