Blog entry for:

well i thought i had a few extra minutes this morning to enjoy a bit of all this leisure i was supposed to have, but looking at my calendar i see that is not the case. what i felt as i read the just for today reading today was a sense of gratitude and a greater sense of need. gratitude because i have been guided down a path in recovery that requires constant, continuous maintenance and tinkering, which means i seem to always be working on something. i have been led to embrace a culture of service to the fellowship that gave me this new life and i i was thrust into the meat of the twelfth step at six months clean when i was a sponsor for the very first time. so my path in recovery has always been deeply involved in action.
the whole problem with that approach is very often i lose sight of the fact that i do have a life outside the rooms and more goes on inside of me on a day-to-day basis then i address. balance is hardly an easy thing for me to achieve and because i make living my program my first priority, i often shortchange myself with regards to everything else that is or could be happening in my life. i do not believe that i was given the gift of recovery only to hide it within the fellowship. nor do i believe that i do myself and my fellowship a disservice by not participating in the life my program has given me. something my sponsor said last week when i was whining about life without a fulltime job still echoes in my head, "you have been preparing for this day for eight and a half years." and you know what, he is right. i have prepared myself to live and be a part of my life, as well as be a part of the fellowship , work the steps, being present for my sponsees, and meeting the responsibilities of my modern adult life. so for me today, i see the reading seems to tell me to use what i have been given and carry my personal program of recovery out into the real world. after all living the program is part of my personal program today!

∞ DT ∞