Blog entry for:

is to carry the message to the still suffering addict. i am grateful however that does not apply to this little exercise. in my own personal space, such as this, i can spout whatever opinions i care to spout. i do not need to be kind and loving and do not need to respect the ever so fragile feelings of some of my peers. over the years, i have become a bit softer about what i write about, but i certainly do not pull any punches here. that being said, i am not going to launch into any sort of public apology or semblance of one, to those i may have offended, just to look good in the eyes of anyone else. i have been there, done that and never actually got what i truly desired: the respect of my peers.
this morning, as i prepare top head on out on this very frosty morning to my home group, more than ever i am struck by my responsibility to my fellowship, to leave my opinions out of the message i carry to me peers and share about my experience, strength and hope. last week, at the meeting, i was not confident that i could leave my hurt and pain at the door and share about what it means to be clean and to be walking around in my skin,. without dragging someone else through the mud. honestly, it would have certainly tripped a trigger in me, to watch them squirm, but at what cost? the joy i once felt at tearing someone down, so i could feel better about myself, is something i choose not to repeat these days. i am certainly far from being a paragon of virtue, but i do “read the room” when i interact with those around me, just to make sure that i am not the one who is causing pain and dissension.
it is a great day to be clean and it certainly is time for me to pack this up and get rolling on down the road. i have no regrets over what did or did not happen over the past week. i do not carry any animosity forward, but i know that in the future i am certain that there are those in the local fellowship, with whom i will keep my distance, when it comes to serving our fellowship. i really hate being reminded of what i was and how i once served and that mirror is not very comfortable these days.

∞ DT ∞