Blog entry for:

in the stillness, as sit in the morning, provides the framework for my day as well as the impetus for this exercise. true, i am not actually **writing** as the physical action of pounding out characters on a keyboard, lacks the same “connection” as pen to paper. it does, however, allow me to dump what needs to be dumped and move into my day, a bit lighter and certainly more spiritually centered. so writing about “writing about it,” is as weird as meditating about meditation. nevertheless, after the start to this morning, putting it down in bits and bytes is not a bad idea.
i attempt to get this written before i commute to work, so i am all cool, calm and collected. this morning however, that was not the case as, my browser decide to act up and not allow me the freedom to do so. i considered just staying home taking it as a sign of GOD s will for me, but that is not how i usually roll, as hoops that i have to jump through, just may be hoops and nothing more. if i were that sort of person, i would say that it was ITs will for me to get here, as traffic moved right along and i made excellent time. so it goes, when i attempt to attribute events in my daily life to the will of the POWER that fuels my recovery, i get all sorts of crazed. i see daily life as a series of events that i can choose to which i can either react or respond. when i am spiritual and centered, i choose to respond. when i am not in that state of being, i react, as i have little to no choice until i stop and reset myself into the center of my spiritual path.
i am not really looking forward to another funeral in Montana, but getting my extended family back is a gift of my recovery and one that i will continue to CHOOSE to foster. i may have had an issue or three as cousins got way to hammered at the bar last year, but that was a year ago, and when i walked back to my no-tell motel room, i had let go of their stuff and allowed them the freedom to live outside of my judgement. as a result, i am looking forward to spending time with them, even though it is yet another funeral. i GET to be a part of my extended family, because i have the DESIRE to be a part of the family and not apart from them. anyhow, i better get busy doing the work gig, as i have said just about everything i needed to get off my chest this morning. it is a good day too be clean and when i start my journey north, Thursday evening, it will be with joy and sadness and a bit of relief that i GOT to see all six of my uncles and my Dad together, before age and disease started to take their toll.

∞ DT ∞