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i will want to practice the kind of program that has made their recovery possible.
so how does this fly in the face of the only requirement for membership is the desire to stop using as the title of the reading seems to imply? well i do not see a contradiction in these two concepts. i can be a member with the simple desire not to use and do nothing more. in fact there was a day when i thought that was all i wanted -- just membership and a means to stay abstinent from drug use. and that would have more than qualified me as a member of this fellowship, and i see some of my fellow members practicing that kind of program. now here comes the tough part, do i want the kind of recovery i perceive those particular members having? well some of them seem to be doing alright, they have active lives, seemingly warm and rich relationships with the people they share their lives with and an aura of social acceptability, all the things i want. but for the most part, the members i see who do the bare minimum, seem to be lost, hurting and miserable most of the time. and many of these members actually have accumulated some ‘considerable’ clean time. not that there are different levels of membership, but there are certainly different levels of happiness, serenity and acceptance demonstrated by the members i share my recovery with. it is the members who are the happiest and most self-accepting, who i choose to learn how to do this whole recovery gig from. it is their guidance and footsteps i follow, because that is all i really want, to have a productive happy life free from active addiction. and today i will what ever i can to follow that path, just for today!

∞ DT ∞