Some memes

when i was using i was without a doubt operating under a different set of values then i do now. i could not even get out of bed without a big juicy rationalization about having to use to get started each day. you know, if you had to do the stuff i had to, you would use before your feet hit the floor too!
on and on ad nauseum.
it is not that i lacked values, i was brought up to know right from wrong and once had a conscience, but my disease out shouted my conscience and my values warped to the point where it was all about me.
it really is not so different today, it still is all about me in a certain respect, all about me staying clean, and living life in the here and now.
the values i live by today are shaped by the spiritual principles of the program. my conscience now has a louder voice than my disease most days and when it does not, there is always today's 10th Step inventory to catch those lapses. but most of all i can now see rationalizations for what they really are, lies and tools of denial. so i am extremely grateful today that i have come to live by a set of values that allow me to live life relatively less chaotically.

BTW Happy 4th Anniversary Kathy M

-- DT --