Blog entry for:
Thu, Apr 12, 2007 06:54:31 AM
∞ through my new awareness, i no longer feel isolated from the rest of the human race. ∞
posted: Thu, Apr 12, 2007 06:54:31 AM
i may not understand why the world is the way it is, in recovery, i can do my best to change it. when my individual contribution is combined with others, i become an essential part of a grand design.
whew, quite a bit to digest so early in the morning, being part of the BIG picture was never part of my world view, before i came to accept recovery i WAS THE BIG PICTURE! but of course none of that is news, what is news is that as i move along this journey that now has lasted more than three thousand and five hundred days, i am discovering, or better put uncovering the difference between doing recovery and recovery becoming my way of life. a case in point was that i got to speak to my sponsor last night and it seemed that at first i was there more for him than he was for me. the details are unimportant, but what happened, and the way i feel this morning is that i am a vital part of the world and the fellowship that has provided me the means to stay clean on a daily basis. not that the world or the fellowship would collapse if i died right here and right now, and not that i am some sort of irreplaceable part of that microcosm, but i am a part of a much greater whole, that when i participate i can affect some incremental change. i used to fantasize about being rich, famous and powerful. especially the powerful part, and i would go out of my way to exert what little power i had on the world around me. what that usually meant was using my power to make others miserable, because that was all i knew how to do. today, and i mean right this second, i do not wish to be powerful, rather i wish to affect what positive change i can without exerting my will. i have the desire to be part of a greater whole, and i have the desire to be an agent of change for the better. i have the desire to make my little contribution count, you know the biggest bang for my buck, but i will not exercise self-will to achieve that goal. i will just live my life by a few spiritual principles, do what is in front of me and allow the world to spin as it has always done, and that is goal enough for me today.
whew, quite a bit to digest so early in the morning, being part of the BIG picture was never part of my world view, before i came to accept recovery i WAS THE BIG PICTURE! but of course none of that is news, what is news is that as i move along this journey that now has lasted more than three thousand and five hundred days, i am discovering, or better put uncovering the difference between doing recovery and recovery becoming my way of life. a case in point was that i got to speak to my sponsor last night and it seemed that at first i was there more for him than he was for me. the details are unimportant, but what happened, and the way i feel this morning is that i am a vital part of the world and the fellowship that has provided me the means to stay clean on a daily basis. not that the world or the fellowship would collapse if i died right here and right now, and not that i am some sort of irreplaceable part of that microcosm, but i am a part of a much greater whole, that when i participate i can affect some incremental change. i used to fantasize about being rich, famous and powerful. especially the powerful part, and i would go out of my way to exert what little power i had on the world around me. what that usually meant was using my power to make others miserable, because that was all i knew how to do. today, and i mean right this second, i do not wish to be powerful, rather i wish to affect what positive change i can without exerting my will. i have the desire to be part of a greater whole, and i have the desire to be an agent of change for the better. i have the desire to make my little contribution count, you know the biggest bang for my buck, but i will not exercise self-will to achieve that goal. i will just live my life by a few spiritual principles, do what is in front of me and allow the world to spin as it has always done, and that is goal enough for me today.
∞ DT ∞
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.
Another Look!
↔ accepting my place ↔ 258 words ➥ Tuesday, April 12, 2005 by: donnot∞ a fleeting glimpse of the big picture and finding humility ∞ 334 words ➥ Wednesday, April 12, 2006 by: donnot
δ i do understand suffering and, in recovery, i can do our best to alleviate it. δ 282 words ➥ Saturday, April 12, 2008 by: donnot
∞ some kinds of spiritual experiences take place when i confront something larger than i am ∞ 319 words ➥ Sunday, April 12, 2009 by: donnot
¨ i suspect that forces beyond my limited understanding are operating ¨ 653 words ➥ Monday, April 12, 2010 by: donnot
« common elements of spiritual awakenings include » 513 words ➥ Tuesday, April 12, 2011 by: donnot
♣ i may not understand why the world is the way it is ♣ 557 words ➥ Thursday, April 12, 2012 by: donnot
℘ i am but one person in the entire scheme of things. ℘ 907 words ➥ Friday, April 12, 2013 by: donnot
∈ when my individual contribution is combined with others, ∈ 340 words ➥ Saturday, April 12, 2014 by: donnot
√ my view of the world is expanding to √ 833 words ➥ Sunday, April 12, 2015 by: donnot
↣ the big picture ↢ 615 words ➥ Tuesday, April 12, 2016 by: donnot
⇄ finding humility ⇆ 917 words ➥ Wednesday, April 12, 2017 by: donnot
🐍 i do not understand 🐀 614 words ➥ Thursday, April 12, 2018 by: donnot
👼 an exaggerated sense 👿 629 words ➥ Friday, April 12, 2019 by: donnot
😕 i seem to be 😟 556 words ➥ Sunday, April 12, 2020 by: donnot
🖼 confronting 🔮 601 words ➥ Monday, April 12, 2021 by: donnot
🌷 a fleeting glimpse 🌸 249 words ➥ Tuesday, April 12, 2022 by: donnot
🚶 practicality 🚶 507 words ➥ Wednesday, April 12, 2023 by: donnot
🌎 taking actions 🌍 641 words ➥ Friday, April 12, 2024 by: donnot
☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge
Book 2
2) In this way though he has his place above them, men do not feel
his weight, nor though he has his place before them, do they feel
it an injury to them.