โ big or little, my secrets represent spiritual territory i am unwilling to surrender โ
Posted: Fri, Sep 14, 2007 10:45:14 AM
to the principles of recovery. the longer i reserve pieces of my life to be ruled by self-will and the more vigorously i defend my **right** to hold onto them, the more damage i do.
so what secrets am i holding back this morning? well if you tuned in, to find some juicy piece of me, i am sorry you will be disappointed, after all, this is not my space and i am not some teenager full of angst against the reality of my world.
instead i think i will focus on the idea that holding on to secrets is yet another manner in which i act out in self-will when i stumbled across that line, i always wondered how holding secrets was a manner of acting-out in self-will. after all i had learned to keep my mouth closed about what was really going on inside. the less i said the safer i felt, and the more sure i became that holding on to the secrets in my life was the route to take. it took a whole lot of sitting and listening before i came to believe that sharing even the most inconsequential secrets in my life was something that would be good for me. as my sponsors can testify, i still take time to reach a place of openness even with those men who need to know everything to guide me through this process. i am learning that any form of self-will is a lack of surrender of my life and will into the care of my HIGHER POWER, and as such, a place in my program that may take me into a state of relapse.
the very thought of getting clean again, is so abhorrent to me, that following the suggestions of those who have gone before me, so i can stay clean today.
so i have any secrets that i need to share today? well none that i can think of right at this moment, but if anything pops up i will be sure to call my sponsor and share them with him.
so what secrets am i holding back this morning? well if you tuned in, to find some juicy piece of me, i am sorry you will be disappointed, after all, this is not my space and i am not some teenager full of angst against the reality of my world.
instead i think i will focus on the idea that holding on to secrets is yet another manner in which i act out in self-will when i stumbled across that line, i always wondered how holding secrets was a manner of acting-out in self-will. after all i had learned to keep my mouth closed about what was really going on inside. the less i said the safer i felt, and the more sure i became that holding on to the secrets in my life was the route to take. it took a whole lot of sitting and listening before i came to believe that sharing even the most inconsequential secrets in my life was something that would be good for me. as my sponsors can testify, i still take time to reach a place of openness even with those men who need to know everything to guide me through this process. i am learning that any form of self-will is a lack of surrender of my life and will into the care of my HIGHER POWER, and as such, a place in my program that may take me into a state of relapse.
the very thought of getting clean again, is so abhorrent to me, that following the suggestions of those who have gone before me, so i can stay clean today.
so i have any secrets that i need to share today? well none that i can think of right at this moment, but if anything pops up i will be sure to call my sponsor and share them with him.
∞ DT ∞