Blog entry for:

from total surrender to the program.
ah, late start Wednesdays, i love it. this morning i got to sleep in, and am in no great hurry to get out the door. that probably does not mean a spilling of everything i may be holding near and dear to my heart to the netizens who happen to stumble on to my daily brain dumps. i will however explore the whole secrets EQUAL reservations theme a bit more before jumping into the shower and heading to the office.
i am fond of saying, when i like or do not like a reading, it is not because i am emotionally attached to something in the reading, it usually means that there is something i need to look at, good or bad, that triggered that emotional reaction. this morning the reaction was a bit more on the positive side, so i needed to figure out what secrets had to do with it. well, i did unload a secret or two on my sponse last Thursday night, as well as at a meeting on Saturday morning an to tell you all the real truth, coming out of STEP THREE, has made me feel broken beyond repair, once again. what i was holding on to, the financial mess i had made, was just camouflage for what i really needed to be looking at, at looking at that, scares the living sh!t out of me.
i am, however, getting ready to start STEP FOUR, so i have a great framework to deal with the current set of fears, insecurities and just plain lunacy that is the current state of me. as much as i want to hold on to my misery, because of course not a single one of you can understand, i know that once more the path before will open up and allow me the freedom from my self-obsession that has been given to me time after time, when i surrender completely to the principles of this program.
well i thought i had a whole lot more to say, apparently not, so off to work i go and into what will be a very long day, full and active , and nothing i dread doing, just a long one. so be well my friends and i will see you in the morning.

∞ DT ∞