Blog entry for:

Sat, Oct 27, 2007 10:41:57 AM


δ for me, the past is like a bad dream. my life is not the same any more, Δ
posted: Sat, Oct 27, 2007 10:41:57 AM

 

but i still have fleeting, highly charged emotional memories of my really uncomfortable past.
although they come less often and have less power than before. i know that the power that felling have over me will continue to diminish but there is a caveat -- if i want the contuinuing relief from the uncomfortable feelings of facing my past, i have to keep working the steps. i know that there is a line of thought out there that state the steps need only be worked a single time, and for them i am sure it works. for me, i have found that each time through the cycle of the steps produces an entirely new result. the stuff in my past i was unable to face when i last worked the steps is now clear. so an extension of that line of thought is that the next time i work the steps, i will see what is beyond my ability to see today. no i am not becoming some sort of self-actualized saint, but i am on the path to becoming the man i always wanted to be.
it is a dreary sort of day, and the weirdest part is convention is in my home town. here i sit, doing a bit of work, waiting to go over and fellowship, and yet somehow it feels so unreal. i do believe that is a function of whatever and to analyze that feeling is not really going to be all that productive this morning.
so high ho high ho it is off to convention i go!

∞ DT ∞

 

djtConsulting Brand
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.

Another Look!

letting go of the past 85 words ➥ Wednesday, October 27, 2004 by: donnot
∞ new life? -- new person! ∞ 421 words ➥ Thursday, October 27, 2005 by: donnot
↔ the guilt, fear, and anger that once dominated me may spill into my new life, complicating my efforts to change and grow. ↔ 415 words ➥ Friday, October 27, 2006 by: donnot
δ the Twelve Steps are the formula that helps me learn to put the past in its place. δ 411 words ➥ Monday, October 27, 2008 by: donnot
√ i still have fleeting, highly charged emotional memories of a really uncomfortable past √ 570 words ➥ Tuesday, October 27, 2009 by: donnot
℘ i want to look my past in the face, see it for what it really was ℘ 530 words ➥ Wednesday, October 27, 2010 by: donnot
← i DO NOT have to be controlled by my past → 572 words ➥ Thursday, October 27, 2011 by: donnot
“ my life is not what it once was and yet, ” 472 words ➥ Saturday, October 27, 2012 by: donnot
Ψ living today as the man i am becoming Ψ 232 words ➥ Sunday, October 27, 2013 by: donnot
≠ i am becoming free to find new ways to live, ≠ 563 words ➥ Monday, October 27, 2014 by: donnot
¶ living in the present ¶ 448 words ➥ Tuesday, October 27, 2015 by: donnot
❅ on being controlled ❆ 802 words ➥ Thursday, October 27, 2016 by: donnot
🍋 once the past 🍇 665 words ➥ Friday, October 27, 2017 by: donnot
🌊 the guilt and fear 🌈 490 words ➥ Saturday, October 27, 2018 by: donnot
🚔 living in a way 🚀 328 words ➥ Sunday, October 27, 2019 by: donnot
🛌 a bad dream 🚿 338 words ➥ Tuesday, October 27, 2020 by: donnot
👁 seeing my past 👁 355 words ➥ Wednesday, October 27, 2021 by: donnot
💨 freed to find 💨 572 words ➥ Thursday, October 27, 2022 by: donnot
👎 accepting 👍 440 words ➥ Friday, October 27, 2023 by: donnot
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☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯

THE TAO TEH KING, OR THE TAO AND ITS CHARACTERISTICS
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge

Book 1

2) Therefore a wise prince, marching the whole day, does not go far
from his baggage waggons. Although he may have brilliant prospects
to look at, he quietly remains (in his proper place), indifferent
to them. How should the lord of a myriad chariots carry himself lightly
before the kingdom? If he do act lightly, he has lost his root (of
gravity); if he proceed to active movement, he will lose his throne.