โฆ as i stay clean, i replace my fear with a belief in the fellowship, the steps, and a Higher Power โฆ
Posted: Sat, Nov 10, 2007 03:34:42 PM
as this belief grows, my faith in the miracle of recovery begins to color all aspects of my life.
FEAR or FAITH, sort of like the whole flight or fright conundrum, although the latter is hard-wired in, and the former a learned response. and i have reached the point in my recovery where seeing everything in black and white is not very acceptable to me anymore. for the first time i see this reading as a shade of gray, rather than a mutually exclusive sort of event. especially the line as i…
living in total FAITH has yet to become easy or automatic for me. i still FEAR that i will not get what i want, or even need. that fear is reduced when i reduce my expectations, however my FAITH does lag. so what is the addict to do? well for one, i can move forward through my life, doing the next right thing and continuing to seek the evidence that i have been given exactly what i NEEDED, and even many of the things i WANTED. yes my FAITH and the growth of that FAITH is based on evidence of the changes being wrought in my life. i wish i could say that i just believe. but that day has yet to arrive. living the program requires that i allow my FAITH to grow, not become some sort of mindless zombie that believes everything i am told. so enough of this little prattle today, and time to relax.
FEAR or FAITH, sort of like the whole flight or fright conundrum, although the latter is hard-wired in, and the former a learned response. and i have reached the point in my recovery where seeing everything in black and white is not very acceptable to me anymore. for the first time i see this reading as a shade of gray, rather than a mutually exclusive sort of event. especially the line as i…
living in total FAITH has yet to become easy or automatic for me. i still FEAR that i will not get what i want, or even need. that fear is reduced when i reduce my expectations, however my FAITH does lag. so what is the addict to do? well for one, i can move forward through my life, doing the next right thing and continuing to seek the evidence that i have been given exactly what i NEEDED, and even many of the things i WANTED. yes my FAITH and the growth of that FAITH is based on evidence of the changes being wrought in my life. i wish i could say that i just believe. but that day has yet to arrive. living the program requires that i allow my FAITH to grow, not become some sort of mindless zombie that believes everything i am told. so enough of this little prattle today, and time to relax.
∞ DT ∞