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my home without using first, was certainly the way i came into the fellowship. i always told myself i needed something to take the edge off and what my shrink told me in early recovery was that i had panic disorder and if i had not been using for all those years i would have been agoraphobic. so i fat fingered this while pounding it out this morning. the way my day has been going, it is no surprise! coming back to the notion of what was addiction and what may have been a mental health issue, is where i was going, and will still go down that line.
i always wonder if that diagnosis was accurate, as i was in early recovery and quickly came off the meds that were prescribed to me. these days, looking back, i can certainly still see the clues of what the DR saw, back in the day, as i am still more than a little bit of a social retard. i do know that i am not behaving well at work, as i am frustrated and that is coming out as curt, rude responses to the very people that i depend upon for my daily bread. so i need to allow myself the freedom to breathe, before responding and get back to paying attention to work. it is a good day to live in a bit of FAITH, instead of FEAR!

∞ DT ∞