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so far this week i have had to look at my insanity, planning plans and now fear versus faith. you know i almost liked it better when i did not remember the JFT reading from day to day and just went with was in front of me. but that is not possible anymore, so looking at that progression i can see an underlying theme in my recent recovery. in fact, that progression has motivated some action on my part -- actually writing out another section of my third step.
this morning however, i have little fear running around my twisted tiny addict brain and i guess it has been replaced by faith, maybe!
it just has been one hell of an interesting ten days. the chaos spinning around outside of me has created a situation where i just wanted to act out. i know that reaction is fear-based, after all nothing they did actually affected my life, not in the slightest, but boy did i want to take on their stuff. well that has passed, and now someone close to me is struggling with relationships and her place in the scheme of things and i want to pick her up and carry her through the muck and chaos that is swirling around her -- once again fear based solution, i am afraid that she will get hurt and i want to protect her from the pain. and this morning i am putting her into the care of THE POWER THAT KEEPS ME CLEAN AND PROVIDES FOR ALL MY NEEDS!
so am i insane? probably, but not nearly as insane as i was 5 days ago! am i planning on a miserable boring existence? no actually i am looking forward to moving forward with some of the things i have set in motion. am i running in FEAR? you know i can honestly say that right here, right now i am comfortable strolling in FAITH. i can once again let go of my fear and replace it with FAITH that what i need is already being provided, all i have to do is wake up and recognize it!
∞ DT ∞