Blog entry for:

i am sure to find that i am really a lovable person, and once i do that, i am well on my way. self love and the events of today so far do not go well together. i have been running cleaning up messes since i was so rudley got out of bed this morning by my dog being sick. rehashing the rest of my morning would be a bit counter-productive, so i will just accept that it is what it is and move on.
so when i finally get a chance to catch my breath, and think about what this topic is saying to me, i get on with the whole i need to give myself a beak this morning, and every morning. it is true that i was incapable of accepting any sort of love when i came to recovery, regardless of where it came from. the source was never me, active addiction stripped that skill from me. and when i heard that let us love you until… i cringed every single time. that was the last thing i thought i needed or wanted in those days. so pondering my current spiritual state i find myself being far more accepting of me, and out of that acceptance i have grown to love myself, just as i am today. to hip slick psycho-babble, no hours on a therapist’s couch, and no quick fixes. the process of learning to love myself was started and is fostered my my active participation in my own recovery. yeas i am still an addict, and yes on days where everything seems to be going wrong, i still have to remember that inside of me is the man i have always wanted to be. that man is self-assured and confident that he is the best person he can be every single day. when i find myself looking at that vision and seeing how far i have yet to go, i need to remember how far i have come. the process does work, there is ample evidence of that in my life and it is time for me to remember just that fact. so off to Franktown, to see what i can do to foster my recovery today.

∞ DT ∞