ฮฑ my recovery is a gift, and i have to care for it if i wish to keep it ฯ
Posted: Mon, Sep 22, 2008 08:52:42 AM
if i maintain the gift of recovery, thanking the Giver each day, it will continue. okay some clean-up before i launch into my thoughts for today. first off, i forgot to write yesterday because i wanted to catch-up on some work before dedicating my day to service. my apologies to anyone who wanted hear what i thought about prayer on this go around. secondly, this whole car metaphor is more than a bit trite for me, and i am certain that i have said so before, my recovery is not a car, it is far more beautiful than a conglomeration of metal, plastic and glass, and it is much more simple to maintain and repair than something with thousands of parts that are dependent upon the whole to work. BUT, as i shared in a meeting yesterday, who am i to question the collective wisdom of those who have walked the path before me, so i will work with what i have.
so moving forward. if an addict like me, can stumble through to building a program upon the seed i was given, way back when, than it is possible for any addict to build and maintain a program of recovery. i may have been given the desire to recover, and i was certainly given everyone and everything i needed to turn that desire into something more, but my recovery was not given to me a whole package, shiny and bright and ready to drive. in this my experience may differ from others. everything i needed to recover was given to me, including simple step-by-step instructions on how to put the package together, and someone to guide me through the process, by holding my hand and catching me when i stumbled. that gift was given to by a POWER FAR GREATER THAN ME and ONE who i have stopped trying to name or prove exists. assembling that package, and testing it out was what my early recovery was about, and instead of thousands of pieces, there are in actuality very few, and the user manual runs only 103 pages. for me, the maintenance part is the most difficult, not because it is complicated or arduous, BUT because the longer i i have this gift, the less i seem to need it. and of course the less i perceive my need to be in recovery, the easier it is to take it for granted.
so it goes. the real nugget of wisdom that i heard this morning, is that taking the gift of recovery for granted is a mistake that i do not want to make. although i may not go out and use tomorrow if i do not do my daily maintenance program today, i will if i allow myself to slip into a pattern of skipping that part of my recovery. i do not need to tinker under the hood, but i do need to change the oil every day, to use the metaphor i was given. and on and on, if i choose to extend that particular thought. anyhow, let me say it plainly for all to hear. i am GRATEFUL today for the gift of recovery i have been given. i know that the source of that gift is beyond my ken and i thank the SOURCE for allowing me to recover one more day. i will do what i NEED to do to keep that gift shiny and new.
so moving forward. if an addict like me, can stumble through to building a program upon the seed i was given, way back when, than it is possible for any addict to build and maintain a program of recovery. i may have been given the desire to recover, and i was certainly given everyone and everything i needed to turn that desire into something more, but my recovery was not given to me a whole package, shiny and bright and ready to drive. in this my experience may differ from others. everything i needed to recover was given to me, including simple step-by-step instructions on how to put the package together, and someone to guide me through the process, by holding my hand and catching me when i stumbled. that gift was given to by a POWER FAR GREATER THAN ME and ONE who i have stopped trying to name or prove exists. assembling that package, and testing it out was what my early recovery was about, and instead of thousands of pieces, there are in actuality very few, and the user manual runs only 103 pages. for me, the maintenance part is the most difficult, not because it is complicated or arduous, BUT because the longer i i have this gift, the less i seem to need it. and of course the less i perceive my need to be in recovery, the easier it is to take it for granted.
so it goes. the real nugget of wisdom that i heard this morning, is that taking the gift of recovery for granted is a mistake that i do not want to make. although i may not go out and use tomorrow if i do not do my daily maintenance program today, i will if i allow myself to slip into a pattern of skipping that part of my recovery. i do not need to tinker under the hood, but i do need to change the oil every day, to use the metaphor i was given. and on and on, if i choose to extend that particular thought. anyhow, let me say it plainly for all to hear. i am GRATEFUL today for the gift of recovery i have been given. i know that the source of that gift is beyond my ken and i thank the SOURCE for allowing me to recover one more day. i will do what i NEED to do to keep that gift shiny and new.
∞ DT ∞