sometimes it is enough just to know that other members believe and that their belief helps keep them clean. i am a bit late writing this ditty this morning, my schedule is a bit off, as i slept in and then this is a day off from my road work. as a result, everything feels a bit odd, including sitting down to write this.
Happy 26th clean date anniversary Carlos G
i am grateful for you being a HUGE part of my recovery
so i know that i have written about HOW the process of coming to believe worked or did not work for me, as well as the evolution of my concept of a HIGHER POWER from "Santa God", into what it is today, since that is old territory, perhaps it is appropriate on this day, to explore something different. what i see around me, especially in those newer members is confusion about what is and is not spirituality and the difference between being spiritual and being religious. although i cannot speak for anyone else, i know that i am on the correct path, perhaps for the first time, since i first picked up all those days ago. yes i struggled with the GOD concept, and was resistant to anything that even had the whiff of religion. that being said, one of the men i sponsor, presented me with an intellectual and emotional challenge the other day. although i may or may not have let on, that he set off a reaction id irrelevant, what it got me to do, was once again explore my belief system, and my discovery was that i was intolerant, almost to the point of bigotry towards certain systems of beliefs. after pondering that insight and hashing it out with my sponsor, i now feel that what is sauce for the goose is also sauce for the gander. if i wish to guide someone towards being open-minded and not discard anything that sounds like it is conflict with my belief system, i NEED to find out what it is that i find irrelevant. then explore why i am resistant to what they may be saying, before i decide whether or not to integrate that idea into my world view.
so what does any of this have of do with the reading? well what i heard this morning, is that it is up to me, to open my mind to ideas that may or may not be in conflict with my closely held beliefs. yes i can stay where i am, whining about my limited understanding, or i can choose to broaden my horizons. so this morning, and perhaps all day, i will work on being open-minded to new ideas, even those that may seem to rock my comfortable view of how things work. i do understand that the further along i go on this journey, the less i seem to be certain of, except for the fact that i am an addict and i am powerless over my addiction. other than that, everything else i think i know may be subject to revision.
time to go make the donuts!
∞ DT ∞