Blog entry for:

the paradox of the Twelfth Step is evident, for in giving, i receive. okay, now that i have solved the coffee problem, i can get to the task at hand. yes i see the irony in writing about the 12th Step as i pause between steps 11 and 12 to allow my internal landscape catch-up with all the changes that were manifest as a result of this step cycle. so as i reach this particular reading, i have nothing new to add for right now, after all, i am not quite ready to become engaged with a new Twelfth step and i know what i knew no longer applies.
applicable or not to my my current life, i guess that i have been clean too long to delude myself into thinking that living a Twelfth Step is something i can avoid. i am still clean, i am still living in a FAITH based program, and yes i have plenty of experience, strength and hope to offer to those around me. when i get in situations like the zonal forum, i still want to fall back into my old patterns of thinking. you know the whole i am not good enough because i only have so much clean time, when everyone else her has what seems like centuries. so my task today is to allow myself to be the pup, remember i have plenty to offer and be the best person i can be,
so it is off to breakfast and then into my day of service here in a Idaho.

∞ DT ∞