Blog entry for:

this process allows me to find more to look forward to and find less to punish myself for. as i sit here this morning, i am way out of my routine. i slept in, imagine that, i did a bit of work, then i was socially acceptable by moving the snow off of my sidewalks and driveway. quite honestly, this time of year, that is probably not necessary as it will warm up and the sun is strong enough to remove the snow from concrete surfaces within 24 hours. i could, if i chose to, just allow the elements to take care of the snow removal process and i would have been right on my routine for this day. i can use this example, no not the sleeping in part, to move into why i am grateful today and what the whole process of active recovery means for me. just like the snow, if i stay clean today, no matter how i do it, i am one more day away from the last time i used. when i choose to remain abstinent BUT do not do the work, i can stay clean, BUT i drift back towards active addiction. clean time does provide a bit of inertia and just as the sun will melt the snow, all those days in a row helps reinforce another day clean. leaving the snow on my sidewalks does nothing for my lawn, which struggles to survive in this semi-arid climate. yes the snow will be gone, but the gift of FREE water, is wasted down the storm drains. IF i choose to do my recovery on auto-pilot, the gifts i have been given, spiritual, physical, and emotional may also melt down the storm drain, and chance are i will end up back where i started, back in early recovery if i am lucky.
so i speak often about active recovery, and it is an interesting qualification that i am clueless to where it came to me from. what it has come to mean, at least for me, is that i am an active participant in my recovery process. i do the stuff that GOT me clean in those what seems like far distant times, i pray, i read the literature, and i go to meetings. MOST IMPORTANTLY, i talk to at least one addict in recovery every single day, to reach out and tell on myself, or just to hear the comforting voice of someone i know that supports me in my recovery. i also have learned to add a few more routines into my daily practice of active recover as a result of working the steps. i take a daily inventory, i listen for the voice of GOD, i do my best to align my activities with my TRUE will and i pause to ponder before i act. i do none of this stuff perfectly, hence the need for the daily inventory, and more days than not, i have to actively participate in the corrective part of the 10th Step. even then, i am no longer the victim of my internal judge, jury and executioner, as practicing an program of active recovery allows me to move beyond that and accept that i am after all only human.
as this human is wont to do, it is time to shower and head out to get some stuff done in the real world. i am grateful for the snow and my lesson in doing the next right thing, shoveling my public spaces, as well as for the desire to practice a program of active recovery today. so with that thought in my head and my heart i will sign-off until tomorrow and see what i can get done just for today.

∞ DT ∞