Blog entry for:

that gratitude did not come easily, in fact, i am surprised that i ever was welcomed at meetings at all. at least back in those dark, dank early days of recovery. i have said it before and will say it again, i am not supposed to be here. people like me, those who find every excuse to be different, usually leave recovery when the sword of forced attendance has been lifted from above their outstretched necks. as bad as i was in those days, not one person who was a member told me to get lost, in fact, they kept saying keep coming back, and i did just to spite them.
i am however, not willing to live in the memory of those gloomy days, today i choose to find the ray of whatever light there may happen to be. i am grateful that i was made welcome, and that the miracle of becoming comfortable in meetings and the fellowship happened for me. i often consider what the alternative might have been for me, when i go there, i come back to the reality that it DID NOT HAPPEN, and i found a home in the fellowship whose members understand who and what i am. i am grateful that i figured out how to let go of what i thought i was and become who i am. right here, i could put in a plug for destiny and a plan beyond my understanding, i am not feeling that this morning, so instead of writing what is not i will return to what is.
which is not a whole lot more. i am strangely lacking ideas or words, so i think it is time to close this down and head on to my next task for this afternoon.

∞ DT ∞