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with drugs and my compulsion to use. that is, however, only the tip of the iceberg.
the reading goes on to talk about many of the general changes that members of this fellowship observe happening in their lives. what i heard this morning was more a specific track and a theme that has been resonating in me lately. that theme? becoming even more connected to the world around me. if i look at my life today versus even a year ago, i am way more social. the changes in how i earn my keep, the people i hang with and the activities i participate in, have begun to fill my life so much, that i cannot even keep appointments that i actually put on my calender. i have to to an office 5 days or so a week and others in the program are calling me just to say hi and let me know how they are doing. it is not like i was some sort of hermit, but compared to today, a year ago my life more closely resembled Ted Kaczynski rather than Kim Kardashian. nevertheless, i am approaching the end of my THIRD STEP and perhaps it is time to set-up a meeting with my sponse and see where we go from here. this whole living in FAITH gig and letting things go gig, as well as going with the flow, has created all sorts of interesting events in my life as well as started a cascade of feelings and changes within m,e as well.
coming back around to the reading, there is a saying, tried and true, in the fellowship to not go anywhere before the miracle happens. in general, what i have often taken that to mean, was the miracle of the lifting of the obsession and compulsion to use drugs. that was way back when, it happened for me over 13 years ago, and yet here i am still sticking around waiting for the miracle to happen. what miracle is that? today i am not sure, as of i ever was sure of the miracle i was waiting for. i do know this for a fact, if i allow IT, the POWER that fuels my recovery will provide for my needs in sometimes miraculous ways. coincidences may happen or it may be the work of that POWER, today i choose not to ponder the nature of seemingly random chance and ascribe an impetus to the events that comprise my daily life. life happens. recovery happens as well, and today the path before me is quite clear -- hop in the shower, hit the road, pick up a paycheck and hang in the gar shop. the details willful be provided as the day progresses.
i can and will do my best to be present for the miracle as it happens today.

∞ DT ∞