Blog entry for:

i have noticed an increased ability to forgive others for their mistakes, and to forgive myself for my own.
quite a different turn, than what i had planned. after reading the entry i made for last year, i am dumbstruck by the notion that it was so weighty on me. in fact, i am clueless about who they are and what they did and to whom they did it., and yet 366 days ago, it was foremost on my mind. it just goes to show, that the value of carrying any sort of resentment is practically nil and the ability to forgive, and yes, in this case forget, is probably the best path for this addict to take.
it is true, i am on the part of my step journey, that deals specifically with resentments. more to the point, as i start to go over my feelings about the focus of this step, i am impressed with the strength of the only resentment that is still part of me. well, not really, it makes perfect sense in the context of my who;e set of feelings around this whole until recently, buried part of my past. as i start to get out of the theoretical and into the practical, i start to be really be amazed about the strength of the program i do my best to practice each and every day. i mean seriously, my feelings about this part of my life feel as strong as the day i first felt them, and IF i had not been through the process before, i would fear that i would be overwhelmed by them and swept away into a place i could not or would not recognize, spiritually. i may be swept away into that place anyhow, as a result of realizing this, but i have FAITH, that the POWER that fuels my recovery, will not take me to somewhere i do not need to go. FEAR is just another feeling that can be counteracted with just the tiniest bit of FAITH.
as i have a boatload of stuff to accomplish this morning, including taking care of myself, i do believe i will leave this off with the thought that IF i do waht is in front of me, everything will work out the way that is the best for me, in the long run. that resentment, that includes all the people in that little town, it feels lighter all ready.

∞ DT ∞