Blog entry for:

i will do my best to encourage others who may need my strength. or at least the best facsimile of encouragement i can muster.
so on this morning of little unexpected frustrations, i am on my bus, and heading south towards my current full-time gig, wondering if my spontaneity will continue to be the theme o' my day. regardless, if that is the case or not, i can be comfortable knowing that i have the ability to roll with the punches, or at least i have had the ability to do so.
so the real question is how do i give the hostage takers that were present at the meeting last night the encouragement they need to just shut-up and listen. seriously 15 minutes of bumper stickers, really chaps my hide and if i did not have to talk to a person or two after the meeting last night i would have walked out, and would have missed absolutely nothing except a bit of self-righteous indignation. the real irony was that the reaing yesterday specifically asked, “ am i sharing just to hear the sound of my own voice?”
i know venting will do nothing to address the problem, but another the questions that is thundering in my head is: "can i frame what i need to share in a kind manner?"
of course that is a paraphrase, but it does go the heart of the matter for me, how do i tell someone to sit, shut-up and listen, or even better share during the meeting, when ther are those many moments of silence? this is becoming a pattern of behavior for both of these addicts and now that i have swallowed my little drop of poison i can move on.
for some reason, when i read the reading today, the metaphor of learning to walk, did not strike me as cheesy, as it has in the past. after all early addiction was a lesson in learning to fly and when i came down from being eight miles high, the crash was hard enough that i really had to learn to walk again. i had to learn a whole lot more than that, all of those life lessons that the other 85% were present for, so in more than one sense i was a toddler when it came to living life. now that i am a teenager, i can see that the growing up metaphor can be exetended to my process of recovery as well. i had my pre-teen rebellion. i had my spoiled rotten terrible twos. so i guess the time has come to start my rite of passage to change from the figuative boy into the man that is the vision the POWER that fuels my recovery has provided to me. the only hitch i that the adolescent rebellion is still active and the last thing i want to do is grow up. at 55 years old, it is more than a little bit awkward situation to find myself in and i am grateful that i have had some time clean to get used to this whole notion.
well i can bitch, whine and moan, OR i can just accept that unless i want to trigger spiritual armegeddon, that perhaps a bit of gratitude, and surrender is MY key to getting through today. WTF, anyhow, it really is a good day to be clean and i think i will sit down, shut and seee what is going on in the rest of the world.

∞ DT ∞