¦ when the need arises, i know i will be able ¦
Posted: Sat, Nov 29, 2014 01:23:08 PM
to trust in the care of the POWER that fuels my recovery.
i currently not eating thanksgiving leftovers and pondering the meaning of life the universe and everything. as i move deeper and deeper into my ELEVENTH STEP., i am struck by a bit of dissonance between the language and what i am coming to see as my path. not that is is anything new, it has been part and parcel of my spiritual landscape over the past few weeks, but today, after a chain of readings that seem to address the very spots that i am rubbing up against and are starting to make me raw, i am finally doing my best to let go and surrender. no not what i see, that would without a doubt be backtracking. what i am going to let go of, is trying reconcile the language to what i am coming to see. there really is nothing there for me to get my panties all knotted up, about. what there is, is a pet peeve for me, the lack of precision in the language i need to choose to use. yes GOD, HE and HIS, just do not fit. HIGHER POWER, IT and ITs is closer, but still is lacking in how i see things. the problem as i see it, is not that i have to change what i am coming to see, but it is how i share about it. i want my peers to get what i am saying and my fear is that if i dwell in the house of being different and unique, i will convince myself and them that i have moved beyond recovery and am somehow been cured.
going back to the three disturbing realizations, which i own today, i see that path is one of certain destruction for me, and destruction of myself is not what i am about today. anyhow i cannot be patient, so i am going to run to staples and see if i can get the ink i need and use my coupon, before it expires. yes i know it is a bad weekend to go shopping, but necessity is the mother of all invention.
i currently not eating thanksgiving leftovers and pondering the meaning of life the universe and everything. as i move deeper and deeper into my ELEVENTH STEP., i am struck by a bit of dissonance between the language and what i am coming to see as my path. not that is is anything new, it has been part and parcel of my spiritual landscape over the past few weeks, but today, after a chain of readings that seem to address the very spots that i am rubbing up against and are starting to make me raw, i am finally doing my best to let go and surrender. no not what i see, that would without a doubt be backtracking. what i am going to let go of, is trying reconcile the language to what i am coming to see. there really is nothing there for me to get my panties all knotted up, about. what there is, is a pet peeve for me, the lack of precision in the language i need to choose to use. yes GOD, HE and HIS, just do not fit. HIGHER POWER, IT and ITs is closer, but still is lacking in how i see things. the problem as i see it, is not that i have to change what i am coming to see, but it is how i share about it. i want my peers to get what i am saying and my fear is that if i dwell in the house of being different and unique, i will convince myself and them that i have moved beyond recovery and am somehow been cured.
going back to the three disturbing realizations, which i own today, i see that path is one of certain destruction for me, and destruction of myself is not what i am about today. anyhow i cannot be patient, so i am going to run to staples and see if i can get the ink i need and use my coupon, before it expires. yes i know it is a bad weekend to go shopping, but necessity is the mother of all invention.
∞ DT ∞