Blog entry for:

ignore my recovery.
the reading speaks to the whole romance gig, and how when i am pursuing it, one may get distracted from recovery, especially from meeting attendance and hanging with my peers. although romance is certainly a big distraction, there are many more distractions that can carry me out of the rooms, most notably religion and social acceptability. not that any of these are “good” or “bad” BUT each carry their own set of activities which draw me away from what is really the central part of my life -- RECOVERY.
i have family, i am in a committed relationship, i have a full-time job, plus sponsees, step work, service commitments and the list goes on. the question is how do i balance all of those activities and keep recovery as my priority? the question really becomes would i be even able to enter into a romantic relationship, if i was still using? i can state without any conditions and reservations, say HELL NO! getting high, was my primary cause, and romance -- not sex -- got in the way. romance took time and resources that i was unwilling to give up.
so getting clean. all of a sudden i had more than enough time to devote to romance, but i lacked insight into ho i was, so i lingered for quite some time, in the lobby of the romance hotel. when i was ready, i had no time as i was attending college full-time, working full-time, recovering full-time, so i got my first look at how to balance all of that. honestly i did not do it perfectly, but i did not hurt anyone, i did not burn down any bridges and i ended up with a long-term committed relationship.
not a lot of “how to,” and more of this can be done, as i stayed clean and managed to work steps and fulfill my service commitment, and oh yeah graduated college with a degree in engineering. so it can be done. time to pay attention to work and leave this as done, today.

∞ DT ∞