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emotionally healthy and happy individual. i admit, i judge everyone and everything, to say anything less, would at best be disingenuous at worst and flat-out baldfaced lie. i can wrap that up and bury it under terms such as discerning, but the fact is, i am judgemental and i can live with that. the question then becomes, what if anything i want to do with it. there is a part of me that wants to sweep under the carpet and say that it is in the quite capable care of the POWER that fuels my recovery, as i am more than ready to have it removed. which is true and certainly a path upon which i can trod without stepping out of the 12 STEP paradigm i am currently implementing in my life. i can also stop the behaviors that arise out of being judgemental and come to a place where i need no longer put myself on any sort of scales and weigh my relative value, with those who are in my life. both of those actions certainly will lead to a more stable version of myself, and i certainly practice at them daily. there it is i “practice,” and for me, that is certainly a far cry from applying or implementing, i cannot hide under the bushel of practice not perfection and yet here i am, talking about what i am practicing a spiritual principles instead of applying them and tap dancing and jazz hands does not change that fact.
one of my assets, as a result of working the steps, i can see what is a human trait: discernment, picks up on all my biases and prejudices and uses them to create my need to go one step beyond, into full-fledged judgementalness. knowledge is a wonderful tool, by itself however, it does very little to guide me through the rocks of social interaction when i am judging everyone and everything to the max. what i seem to be seeking is not the means to be less judgemental, but the means to look that those judgements for what they are, and discard or at least diminish their effect on my life and how i behave. certainly a good thing to practice today, just for today. with that, i think i will get moving out into the real world and see what i can accomplish.

∞ DT ∞