Blog entry for:

Sat, Sep 26, 2009 08:57:53 AM


ϖ the defects i identify most easily in others are often the defects ϖ
posted: Sat, Sep 26, 2009 08:57:53 AM

 

i am most familiar with in myself. what i dislike in my fellows are often those things we dislike most in myself. i can turn this observation to my spiritual advantage. how i hear you asking, after all, is that just another unhealthy example of beating myself up? well it could be, that is, if i allowed it become a self-flagellation session, but the days of my self sadomasochistic are for the most part behind me. i no longer get pleasure from inflicting pain upon myself, and at the same enjoy the pain that i inflicted upon myself. the very thought of that sort of behavior is more than a bit repulsive these days, and that i engaged in it for so long, surprises the sh!t out of me.
all of this is nice, but it really is a digression from what i was thinking about -- namely using my ability to become judgmental towards others to guide my spiritual path. i have been through this sort of process, to the nth degree over the past year, and what it has ended up doing for me, is that i work on behaving in a manner that is more respectful of others, because that is how i desire to be treated. honestly, this morning, i am more than sure about the decision i need to make, and i am certain that it is necessary in the long run, for my own growth and to continue along my path. the irony is, that after considering and carefully listening to my own heart, my intuitive first guess, is what i am deciding.
HMMMMMM???
yes, i find indecisiveness in others, something that drive me fVcking nuts! for me to spend six days in considering a decision i made falls into that same behavior, one that i find abhorrent in others and absolutely repulsive in myself. the ability of not being able to decide is one that active addiction often masked for me. most of the time, i was so high or in such a fog, i made decisions by default, allowing the events of the day to sweep across me like the winds of a hurricane and take me where they would. than i could complain about things not working out to me liking. when i was forced to make a decision, i acted as if this was something spontaneous, when i actually had obsessed over the possible outcomes for days, hours or weeks leading up to that event. so if this set of steps was about decision-making, how am i still stuck in this same cycle? well, spin it as i may, this feels different. for one, i did not think about this for every waking moment since i was given the choice. i thought about it now and again, i listened for guidance when i was seeking answers in the quiet of meditation, without asking for specific knowledge. i remain open to a change of heart, as i have one step in this cycle to complete, a chat with the sponse, to help clarify my heart and mind. was there any harm in considering, gathering more information, letting go and allowing myself to feel my way towards a decision? none to myself, and probably none to those around me.
so where do i go from here? well for one, i keep up the work of learning to feel my way to decisions and identifying when i have become judgmental. when i feel that way, judgmental not decisive, look to what it is in myself that i am finding less than satisfactory and work towards allowing a HIGHER POWER to take care of that for me. so off to hit the streets in this last day of my exercise cycle, a new one starts tomorrow.

∞ DT ∞

 

djtConsulting Brand
The views expressed on this page are solely the opinion of the author.
While the author is a member of a 12 Step recovery fellowship, these writings are not intended to endorse or express the published wisdom of any fellowship.
These writings are not meant to be socially or politically correct, and if you take issue with any opinions expressed, please seek the guidance of someone wiser than me.

Another Look!

another day -- another blog 144 words ➥ Sunday, September 26, 2004 by: donnot
∞ looking for defects in others ∞ 313 words ➥ Monday, September 26, 2005 by: donnot
∞ what i dislike in my fellows is often those things i dislike most in myself. ∞ 478 words ➥ Tuesday, September 26, 2006 by: donnot
↔ how easy it is to point out the faults of others! ↔ 408 words ➥ Wednesday, September 26, 2007 by: donnot
δ when i am stricken with the impulse to judge someone else, δ 418 words ➥ Friday, September 26, 2008 by: donnot
¥ it will not make me a better person to judge the faults of another ¥ 641 words ➥ Sunday, September 26, 2010 by: donnot
¢ i will look beyond the character defects of others and recognize my own. ¢ 601 words ➥ Monday, September 26, 2011 by: donnot
ℑ i can redirect impulse to judge someone else in such a way ℑ 573 words ➥ Wednesday, September 26, 2012 by: donnot
¢ as i recognize my own defects more clearly, ¢ 536 words ➥ Thursday, September 26, 2013 by: donnot
√ what i may see can guide my actions toward recovery √ 430 words ➥ Friday, September 26, 2014 by: donnot
∑ seeing myself ∑ 640 words ➥ Saturday, September 26, 2015 by: donnot
😇 the defects 😈 758 words ➥ Monday, September 26, 2016 by: donnot
🌈 becoming an 🎢 409 words ➥ Tuesday, September 26, 2017 by: donnot
🌘 the process 🌒 680 words ➥ Wednesday, September 26, 2018 by: donnot
🌤 a spiritual advantage 🌪 494 words ➥ Thursday, September 26, 2019 by: donnot
😠 faults of others 😷 406 words ➥ Saturday, September 26, 2020 by: donnot
👁 looking beyond 👁 368 words ➥ Sunday, September 26, 2021 by: donnot
🙈 what i dislike 🙉 557 words ➥ Monday, September 26, 2022 by: donnot
😀 open - mindedness 😀 552 words ➥ Tuesday, September 26, 2023 by: donnot
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☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯

THE TAO TEH KING, OR THE TAO AND ITS CHARACTERISTICS
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge

Book 1

4) The work is done, but how no one can see;
'Tis this that makes the power not cease to be.