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old situations, i sometimes lack the FAITH to allow myself to become open to the new ones. what if, however, the change i DESIRE is not happening fast enough and i FEAR that i will be forever locked into a job that i do not like and has no future? the flip side of this equation and although i really think i DESIRE change, perhaps a bit of acceptance and gratitude for what i DO have is called for. a little FAITH that, just for today, i am exactly where i am supposed to be. not quite a 180 degree difference, but certainly close enough for government work, as the saying goes.
i know that change is a part of life, and i also realize that as part of life, my resistance to change, or in the case my self-willing change is the root of my misery, these days. i want more, more fulfillment in my day to day life, more money, more respect and yes more passion in what i do. even though this is the time of year when much of that stuff happens, waiting around for it, sucks! which has to bring me around the bend, to doing something different, no matter how terrible i perceive it to be.i have to find the means to live in a little FAITH this morning and not let my FEAR of nothing changing be quelled.
my difficulty lies in accepting that i have no power over the pace of this change. it is not like the olden days where change was fast and furious and all i wanted was a break from the upheaval that was my life.
the answer? well at least for me today, is to keep pounding the streets, looking for the my next opportunity and while doing so, give my current employers my best effort. there are things coming down the pike, that i may be able to develop a passion for, and i certainly do enjoy the freedom of knowing where my next paycheck is coming from. yes it is true, i hate taking “on-call,” but a bit of acceptance will go a very long way to relieve my self-impose misery, just for today. speaking of which the time has come to get moving into my net task for the day, there are more than few things that my current employer require me to do today and i need to be present and grateful for what i have. change will happen, as long as i keep looking for and grabbing the opportunities that arrive in my INBOX today.

∞ DT ∞