Blog entry for:

that challenge my recovery, is my responsibility and mine alone. after a long night of work and a short bit of sleeping, i have issues to deal with at work. i got to sleep in and at 9:30 AM i am still in my pajamas, unshaven, unshowered and impatiently frustrated with the team that has got me working long before i ever wanted to. what i heard this morning as i listened, has gone by the wayside, and now i am trying to restart my day.
<BOOM> there you have it, i allowed myself to give power over to someone who will never take any credit or blame for their issues. what my little break did for me however, was to give me the distance to get a bit of my personal power back and return to the state of serenty-ish that i had before i logged into work and read my e-mails. that is taking responsibility for my state of recovery, admitting that i am sleep-deprived and dealing with others, as best as i can.

Nathan W
Six (6) years clean.
Congrats, my friend. KEEP COMING BACK!

the reading speaks to attending events and taking pain medications, which are very good examples of places where my recovery could be challenged. i do not disagree with vigilance needs to be taken in those examples, but after a minute clean, i have many other places where i need to be vigilant as well, such as when i am out and about being a productive member of society. ego and pride are the enemies of my recovery and the workplace gives me plenty of opportunities to act-out my character defects and begin that somehow, i am like those who are not addicted.
that being said, i really do need to get out of my pajama, shower and shave and get back to the task at hand, getting my stuff to work without issue. bit by bit, i do recover and today, it will be no one else's fault if i choose to step away from my recovery program, do the next WRONG thing and whine about the consequences.

∞ DT ∞