the sort of person , i never thought i wanted to be, but, i am certainly grateful that new ideas, was grafted on to my barely open mind, way back when. sitting here, contemplating where i am and where i may be going today, i keep coming back to two events that have occurred over the past few weeks. specifically being let go by two of the men who once called me their sponsor. where there would have once been anger and resentment, as i would have taken it very, very personally, even though i would have pretended not to, there is a mixture of sadness, remorse and relief. as i work through that mash-up of feelings, i am quite certain that i will also revisit my relationship with my sponsor. i have some windshield time in front of me today, so plenty of opportunity to look at where i am going, as it were. speaking of going places:
TJ, my friend and peer,
CONGRATS on EIGHT(8) years clean.
i do remember where you came from and i am grateful you choose to walk this path.
as i did my morning traverse of the neighborhood, i had a couple of things on my mind. Christmas presents and my Christmas presence were the top of that list. the presents will have to wait for later in the day, as my store of choice i open until midnight tonight. which takes that off the stack, leaving the fact that i am on call, from 8AM to 8PM starting tomorrow morning. i was planning on how i was going to get groceries bought and my daily constitutional completed before 8 AM, when it came to me, that maybe, just maybe, instead of going to the grocery store i always go to, i might be able to change up and go somewhere else. i might even get the opportunity to “surprise” with something as well. one never knows, what a trip without expectations may bring.
yes that too, is new and different, at least for me.
well the candy is not working to fill the place of a real meal, and i am drifting away from this little exercise. what i want to say, before i wrap this up, is what is, is far from permanent and the possibility of something happening may not be probable of likely, but it is always there.
∞ DT ∞