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okay, i have to *fess up here, i am obsessive about the daily part of my program. i am not sure whether or not it makes me more serene, BUT being a stickler about these activities, certainly makes it easier for me to tolerate, accept and yes even forgive, those with whom i share the world. i am no spiritual giant, not any sort of recovery guru nor am i shining example about how to do this recovery gig. i may no longer be able to call myself a “pup” in recovery, but this old dawg can learn a few new tricks. among those “new” tricks, is how to be a more “positive” person.
every year at work, there are a set of hoops i have to jump through to get my company to kick $1000 into my H.ealth S.avings A.ccount. it is true, that a few of those activities have led to a slimmer, more fit and certainly healthier me. daily maintenance of my newly restored “girlish figure,” has reduced my A1C and blood sugar levels, raised my “good cholesterol;” levels and in general make me feel better about who i see in that damning full-length mirror. in other words, just as i see results from my recovery program, slowly and cumulatively, so i see results from my physical exercise program. both give me something i DESIRE and unfortunately, both require that i take care of doing what i ought to, almost every day. among the other “activities” that i can choose to perform to get the dollars i am entitled to, is a little twenty-four day exercise called the Positivity Project.
if one reads what i write here on any sort of regular basis, one is certain to realize that i am more than a bit cynical, fart very few daisies and sh!t even fewer rainbows. once a day, i have to put aside that “image” of myself and access my “Suzie Sunshine” side. rainbows and daisies galore come streaming out of me as if i have contracted some sort of spiritual virus. although i am loathe to admit it, i am more than certain that doing this activity every single year, even though i think i am “playing a role,” and pandering to the crowd as it were, i feel a bit less cynical than i did three years ago. maybe, in this case i am “faking it, until i make it.” it is not as if in twenty one or so days i going to be the brightest, most “positive” bulb in the box, but i will certainly have my rough edges “smoothed” a bit more. who knows, i may actually leave a teeny-tiny trail of daisies and rainbows in my wake.
i can be a better person and i need not talk about how i got here at length. part of being that better person is to let go, accept that there will be one or more idiots on my commute this morning and see if i can be tolerant and possibly forgiving of them, rather than elevating my pulse rate into the low 100's because i get so ticked off. one never knows, be prepared for a rainbow or a daisy in your path today. 😎

∞ DT ∞