Blog entry for:

to keep me clean, today.
over the days i have been clean, the words i use to pray have gone through many changes. what has not changed, is my request for the POWER that fuels my recovery to keep me clean and thanking that POWER for another day clean, before i fall asleep in the evening. those two simple requests started back before i was a member and continue to this day. i do not see them being removed from my daily recovery routine, any time soon, as i am quite comfortable with them and for this addict, they seem to work. i could go on and on about my spiritual path, but for right now, there seems little else to write about prayer and my recovery program.
what is on my mind, as i “recover” from my extreme-ish hike yesterday, is the same topic that has been consuming me since last week, how to respond, thoughtfully and kindly to a pile of bullsh!t that one of the men i sponsor, exploded in my lap, last week. i want to tell him that everything he wrote in the letter he sent feels as if he is reverting back into active addiction, no matter how he tries to slice and dice it. rationalizations and justifications for his less than stellar behavior, are lies. the worst part is that he did not seek any sort of guidance before acting-out in a manner that certainly had some dire consequences for him. that part is on me, for having an expectation that he would ask before he did something, and i have to put that behind me, if i am going to respond in a manner that is helpful, rather than hurtful.
right here and right now, i do believe i will go get some steps, let this go and ask the POWER that fuels my recovery for the wisdom to find the correct words for what i need to say and to let go of the stuff that is not mine. life in recovery presents many choices and some of the time, none of them are the easier, softer way.

∞ DT ∞