Blog entry for:

any problem, is not usually the manner in which i think about the POWER that fuels my recovery. the notions of **size,** **gender,** or having human attributes, no longer fit into the concept of a HIGHER POWER that i have grown. it was my FEAR of not being accepted by my peers, that forced me to cling to those notions, far longer than i needed to, no matter “awkward” they made me feel. becoming secure in my own beliefs allowed me to open my mind to the beliefs of my peers, and no longer deride or judge them, because they seemed “stuck” with a default HIGHER POWER.
as i sat and listened to what i “needed” to hear, there was certainly a sense of calm that came over me. whether or not is was because i “believe” that i will be “cared” for by the POWER that fuels my recovery, or a sense of certainty that i am on the right path, does not matter. i have stopped looking this sort of gift horse in the mouth as i am pretty sure there are no Greeks inside. today i am safe and secure, i have a job and the opportunity to be more than i was yesterday. i have a path to “hear” what the next right thing may be and the willingness to do it. it is true, all of that may change tomorrow, be that as it may, just for today, i am in a place where i can accept what is in front of me.
after my angst over the past week about what i “needed” to say, it is wonderful being in a place of FAITH. i can move forward into my day and more than likely, if i am paying attention to what is going down, i will be able to grasp the opportunities that come down the pike. my journey to come to believe, may have been fraught with hairpin turns, cliff-like grades and slippery slops, but in the long run, and it was a very long one, i have found a concept that “grew” into one that fits for me. as i step out into the real world, to burn a few calories and explode a few “fat” cells, i know that the gift of my recovery is something i can be assured of, as long as i let go of what i “think” i know and listen for what i do not, just for today.

∞ DT ∞