I have been clean for:
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๐Ÿ‘‹ touching reality ๐Ÿ‘‹

Posted: Tue, Oct 19, 2021 06:38:20 AM

by destroying all the lies that have made me who i am, is quite a leap from a year ago, when i was just starting to come to terms with the lie i had been living. dealing with my identity in these post jazz hand days seems to mean that i am uncertain of my values and what i really need to stand for, on any given issue and at any given moment. i know two things for certain, that i am an addict and that recovery has made my life better than i ever imagined, everything else, feels as if it is up for grabs.
moving into the here and now, my reality these days is far different than a year ago. learning to deal with loss and disappointment, while catering to the needs of someone who is more capable than they choose to admit, feels like a burden, when piled on top of a new job, a new vision for my physical self and because of a powerful FIFTH STEP a new glimpse into who i am and who i might become. when all is said and done, how do i move past settling for the unacceptable in my life, when i am certain, i could reach for more? that is my conundrum these days and that is more to chew on, as i attempt to get over the fatigue of climbing three peaks, in winter hiking conditions. maybe this morning i will have a better workout than yesterday and if not, at least i went out there and made an effort instead of saying i can't when i mean i won't. 😉

∞ DT ∞


Another Look

This day in older entries

๐Ÿ’ณ it does not ๐Ÿ’ธ
539 words ➥ Monday, October 19, 2026 by donnot
๐ŸŒ  when i tap ๐ŸŒŸ
272 words ➥ Sunday, October 19, 2025 by donnot
๐Ÿ˜‹ finding satisfaction ๐Ÿ˜‹
539 words ➥ Saturday, October 19, 2024 by donnot
๐Ÿ•บ tapping ๐Ÿ•บ
518 words ➥ Thursday, October 19, 2023 by donnot
๐Ÿ’ช my strength ๐Ÿ’ช
523 words ➥ Wednesday, October 19, 2022 by donnot
๐Ÿ˜’ the biggest fibs ๐Ÿ˜’
365 words ➥ Monday, October 19, 2020 by donnot
๐Ÿ’จ fooling everyone ๐Ÿ’จ
565 words ➥ Saturday, October 19, 2019 by donnot
๐Ÿ›ฃ finding what is ๐Ÿ›ค
716 words ➥ Friday, October 19, 2018 by donnot
โœ— rebuilding from โœ˜
330 words ➥ Thursday, October 19, 2017 by donnot
โˆด ignoring the โˆต
403 words ➥ Wednesday, October 19, 2016 by donnot
โˆš standing for something โˆš
542 words ➥ Monday, October 19, 2015 by donnot
โ€ข i need to be honest, even when โ€ข
891 words ➥ Sunday, October 19, 2014 by donnot
โ€ข by the time i came to my first meeting, โ€ข
453 words ➥ Saturday, October 19, 2013 by donnot
โ„˜ i stand for something โ„˜
355 words ➥ Friday, October 19, 2012 by donnot
โ€ฆ i find that i could feel time, touch reality ,
480 words ➥ Wednesday, October 19, 2011 by donnot
โˆ‚ in active addiction, i am prepared to compromise everything โˆ‚
527 words ➥ Tuesday, October 19, 2010 by donnot
โŠฅ i do not want to start the demolition of my spirit again โŠฅ
638 words ➥ Monday, October 19, 2009 by donnot
ฮฑ finding the strength ฯ‰
318 words ➥ Wednesday, October 19, 2005 by donnot
standing for something
329 words ➥ Tuesday, October 19, 2004 by donnot

Tao Te Ching

☯ The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao ☯

The Tao Teh King, or The Tao and Its Characteristics
by Lao-Tse
Translated by James Legge

Book 2

3) With that gentleness I can be bold; with that economy I can be
liberal; shrinking from taking precedence of others, I can become
a vessel of the highest honour. Now-a-days they give up gentleness
and are all for being bold; economy, and are all for being liberal;
the hindmost place, and seek only to be foremost;--(of all which the
end is) death.