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or save my ass? quite the conumdrum! as i walk through each day, just for today, i reach this signpost several times and have to make a choice. life on its own terms may not throw major shite at me on a daily basis, but enough comes up tht i have to stop and wonder whether or not to seek help from one of my peers or associates.
it is true, after being clean for a minute, there are really is not a ton of stuff that throws me for a loop. it is also true that the reading was addressing the tendency that i have, to keep the painful stuff inside and allow it to fester. over the course of my recovery, i certainly have become more skilled in “letting it all hang out.” in fact, i have been accused of over-sharing the “negative” stuff and scaring away those who have yet to make the decison to become a member. i “get” what that criticism is all about, and i could very well “pretend” to be one of those people who “never had a bad day.” the fact is, each and every day is a mixture of what one might judge as positive or negative and needs, in my opinion, to be seen in that way. for me, that might mean asking for a hand in dealing with my disappointment that someone i am spending time with has no clue about what is going on around them, as they are far too self-absorbed to be a part of the world. today as traipse the byways and highways in Belfast, i will allow myself the freedom to be displeaased and a bit grumpy, BUT i will not allow myself to make others conform to my standards of behavior, even though they could use a bit of schooling abouut how to live.

∞ DT ∞