๐ fully accepting ๐
Posted: Sun, Jul 17, 2022 09:02:46 AM
that i am an addict, is a notion with which i no longer struggle. it is just a fact of life. finally getting COVID, is another fact of life and at least we did not have to test to get back to the good old US of A, as we may have been left stuck in quarantine in Ireland. my luggage is still lost somewhere between Dublin and Denver and i am stuck in the house until next Monday, for the most part. i am about to get out and run ten thousand meters (10K) just because i can and it is how i roll. what i am going to do with the rest of my day, is still up in the air. i do know that i have to get out and about and steal some cigars from my locker at the cigar store, grab some espresso beans from my supplier and perhaps get some ice cream. i need to do all of that without physically touching anyone and with strict masking in place, and i am more than willing to do just that.
what i am having difficulty accepting this morning, is being locked away for the next ten days and putting my life on hold. as weird as it may sound, i was looking forward to getting out to the office on Monday, even though it is an hour drive each way. i know, i am powerless over COVID and living isolated for ten days, will not “kill” me, i will certainly survive. i know i should be grateful that the symptoms have passed and i have my wits, my wind and my sense of taste and smell, but FVCK, it is damn hard for me to feel grateful to have something that i have avoided for over two years. 😭 😭 😭
now that i have finished whining, i guess i can concentrate about what bubbled up from them depths this morning. what i heard, besides the notion of being grateful was that i need to get back into the routine of living my life, even though right now, i am not quite there yet. i know that these past few weeks, with my lack of physical exertion have taken their toll on my fitness. i also know that i have twenty-four hours before my body's readjustment to altitude takes place, so i need to get back into my routine, before that event occurs, so afterwards i am able to continue. i also know that even though i was diligent in maintaining my spiritual routine, whilst on vacation, i also need to “feel” my way back to being a bit more spiritually fit, letting go of what i cannot change and accepting the “what is.” nit is after all a good day to be clean and to generate a bit of gratitude that i am far from still-suffering from active addiction of COVID.
what i am having difficulty accepting this morning, is being locked away for the next ten days and putting my life on hold. as weird as it may sound, i was looking forward to getting out to the office on Monday, even though it is an hour drive each way. i know, i am powerless over COVID and living isolated for ten days, will not “kill” me, i will certainly survive. i know i should be grateful that the symptoms have passed and i have my wits, my wind and my sense of taste and smell, but FVCK, it is damn hard for me to feel grateful to have something that i have avoided for over two years. 😭 😭 😭
now that i have finished whining, i guess i can concentrate about what bubbled up from them depths this morning. what i heard, besides the notion of being grateful was that i need to get back into the routine of living my life, even though right now, i am not quite there yet. i know that these past few weeks, with my lack of physical exertion have taken their toll on my fitness. i also know that i have twenty-four hours before my body's readjustment to altitude takes place, so i need to get back into my routine, before that event occurs, so afterwards i am able to continue. i also know that even though i was diligent in maintaining my spiritual routine, whilst on vacation, i also need to “feel” my way back to being a bit more spiritually fit, letting go of what i cannot change and accepting the “what is.” nit is after all a good day to be clean and to generate a bit of gratitude that i am far from still-suffering from active addiction of COVID.
∞ DT ∞