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i try to make my life better have certainly changed over the days i have been clean. i am not a super hopeful type and often i equate hoping with wishing. as a cynical pragmatist, it is hard to live in hopeful optimism and it shows daily in how i walk through my life. what works for me these days, is a bit of compartmentalization. the wall between HOPE and FANTASY is what is actually achievable and what is not. choosing to stay clean tomorrow certainly falls into the hope part. winning a ginormous lottery jackpot, well that is on the fantasy side, even if i bought hundreds of tickets. i know my odds of winning do not change based on the number of entries i buy, no matter what “common sense” may seem to indicate.
this morning, i am hopeful that i will be able to run pain free for a bit longer than yesterday, as i rehab my beat up knee. this morning i am certain that i can stay clean until i go to bed tonight as i have access to the power to do so, a gift from the POWER that fuels my recovery. today, i am hopeful that i will complete my first form and have it styled and working in the manner i wish it to be, before i end my work day. and because i mentioned it, maybe i will spend two dollars on my chance to win hundreds of millions of dollars, after all, lightening could strike 🤣
anyways, i do have work to do and some steps to get. i know that IF i choose to be practical and manage my time well, what i hope to get done today, will become reality and i will be able to sleep this evening knowing that i did the very best i could, with what i had. maybe, just maybe, i need to start giving others that same benefit of doubt, as i HOPE they snap out of their self-obsession and start to see their reality for what it is.

∞ DT ∞