Some memes

of belonging was certainly not something i was blessed with at my very first meeting, nor for many meetings after that first one. i thought what i saw was all an act and sought evidence to prove my hypothesis, rather than listening to the message that those in the rooms were sharing. before i go down any rabbit holes, a Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate Christmas and to those who do not, i hope this holiday season brings you a bit of joy and hope. for me, i go with the flow, as i have moved well past the religious aspect and am in the process of moving past the commercial aspect. showing my loved through the spending of huge sums of money is not what i am all about these days, but i do enjoy giving gifts, no matter what their value.
which brings me to the topic that i spoke with with my friend as we walked this morning, specifically how do i allow someone into my life after they spent decades assiduously avoiding being a part of my life. now that they are alone and lonely, they want to engage with me, and i am more than a little put off by them trying so hard to do so. they lack the understanding of who i am and how i got to where i am today and i am more than okay letting them stay right there, as it is not my stuff to drag them up to finding enough hope to actually do something to “fix” their situation, after all they put themselves into this spot and it is chronic and certainly fatal, just not today. i am the one who has to move past what they were and decide how much i will allow them into my life today, and right here and right now, it is barely an inch. i will not enable them to play their passive-aggressive games or pit me against my siblings.
on that happy note, i will post this little ditty and start watching football, after all, life is too short to live in what was and forget the waht is, just for today.

∞ DT ∞